Spike's Will Be Done
by TalesOfSpike
Summary: ~~~Epilogue Added~~~Imagine that when Buffy had her magical clear out that instead of throwing everything away she gave it to Spike for safe-keeping. Ever wonder how differently things could end?
1. Ch 1 Cemeteries

****

***IF WHEN YOU HAPPEN TO READ THIS FF HAS THE FAULT WHERE YOU SEEM TO BE UNABLE TO ACCESS ANYTHING BUT THE FIRST CHAPTER OF ANY STORY THEN THERE IS A WAY AROUND THIS.

IN THE ADDRESS BOX FOR THE PAGE ADD &chapter=2 (OR 3 OR 4 ETC.) DIRECTLY AFTER THE STORY ID NUMBER AND PRESS RETURN. THIS WILL LET YOU INTO SUBSEQUENT CHAPTERS.***

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Right, this is how it goes. Me and all the rest of the people left in Sunnydale belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and lots of other companies. Lately this situation has been by no means mutually agreeable. This is why I'm making an appeal on behalf of Buffy characters past and present, (except Droopy Boy and Captain Cardboard, Joss can keep them), to ask that you readers donate $10 or whatever you can afford to our campaign. Please dial 0-800-SAVE-SPIKE to make your pledge now. 

Thanks, ducks.

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

****

A/N. In theory the over all length of this piece should be between 6 and 8 short chapters. Most of the first few follow what happened in the episode, setting things up for anyone whose memory, like mine, is a bit crap. If you can recite the different episodes verbatim you can probably skip to the last three or four paragraphs. Next chapter will be where things start branching off from the Jossverse. 

****

Chapter 1 - Cemeteries

Spike sat on top of the stone pillar that supported on of the cemetery gates, watching Buffy's retreating back. According to her, her friends would cope with the news that they'd been sleeping together; she could do anything and they would still love her. His problem was, he felt the same way about her. That was why he couldn't help calling after her retreating back.

"In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?"

A second vampire, who had just been released by Spike, turned back from his pursuit of the slayer, stunned by what he had just heard. He stared at the master vampire, his jaw hanging open, right up until the point where it turned to dust and fell to the ground along with the rest of his body. Buffy had already replaced in her stake in her pocket and was once more walking away from Spike.

"Because I don't love you," she called back, not even turning her head to acknowledge him.

Spike's eyes all but glowed electric blue with pain and anger. "Like hell," he retorted, his voice fierce but quiet enough that his were the only ears it reached.

* * * * * * *

Spike had stayed away from Buffy the night after that unpleasant scene. He had been aware of her presence at a distance a couple of times when she was on patrol. Instead of moving to intercept her as he once would have done, he moved away doing his best to stay outside the range where Buffy would normally be aware of him. 

Buffy gave up on patrol early that night, deciding that for some reason the demon population were all having a peaceful night in, but she was wrong, and one demon in particular was anything but peaceful. The vampire knew Buffy's patrol routes so well it was easy for him to sweep the areas she would visit. He just got there first. His kills for the night ran to double figures and still his black mood was with him when he finally returned to his crypt.

He was preparing to follow a similar plan the next evening when the door to his home slammed open at the slayer's hand. Spike was aware of something flying toward his head and grabbed it from mid-air before it impacted. He looked curiously at the equipment in his hand.

"What's this?" he asked, looking up at the slayer.

"It's a camera."

"Yeah," Spike replied, his tone mildly sarcastic. "I got that part. Why am I holding it?"

Buffy started her accusatory diatribe. "Someone was using it to spy on me, on the house. Xander thinks it might've been you."

Spike's temper got the better of him and the sarcasm meter hit overload. "Oh, the great Xander thinks so! Shudder! Gasp! It must be true!"

"Spike-", Buffy tried to interrupt, but the vampire was too intent on venting his ire.

"That ponce has always had it in for me. Every chance he gets, he sticks it-" Spike was stopped cold by the slayer's dubious expression. 

"You believe him, don't you? You think I was spying on you." He became the accuser. He waited for Buffy to deny the charge, but as seconds passed in silence he continued. "You think I could do that."

Buffy's anger rose to match his. "Yeah, righteous indignation is absolutely the way to go here, 'cos you don't kill or lie or steal or manipulate-"

The vampire's rage flashed from hot to cold and he placed the camera back in the slayer's hands, his motion and the words he followed up with deliberate and cool. "I don't hurt _you_."

Buffy looked down at the camera, sobered by the truth in the vampire's words. "I know."

"No," Spike countered, "you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I feel… about you… It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't, it's real."

Buffy's voice was soft when she replied as if the pain her remarks would inflict were proportional to the volume at which they were uttered. Maybe she enjoyed carving his heart out and didn't want him to have even a crumb of comfort from the thought the words were carelessly spoken in anger. "I think it is… for you." 

Spike stared at her aghast. She could have pulled his intestines out with her bare hands and caused him less pain.

"I know that's not what you want to hear… and I'm sorry…" It sounded false even to her own ears. "I really am. You just… have to move on. You have to-" 

Spike was unable to do anything but watch as she deliberately destroyed his hopes. It might have been bearable except for her obviously insincere attempts at making him feel better, despair and rage seething from him until he couldn't bear it any more.

"Get out," he cut in, using a voice as soft and dark as black velvet. The slayer hesitated as if there was more that she wanted to add, but Spike gaze was frigid, the conversation obviously at an end. She left, pulling the door of the crypt closed behind her.

Spike waited until he heard the door shut behind her and then stalked over to the chest that held his supply of hard liquor. He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and removed the cork throwing it across the room. He raised the bottle to his lips and poured its contents straight down his throat, thankful that he had no need to breathe. Once it had time to get into his bloodstream the alcohol left him mildly tipsy, but he knew the feeling wouldn't last. He started sorting through the chest and some boxes nearby in a search for more. He found another bottle with an inch left in the bottom and quickly drained it. 

He wanted oblivion. He wanted to forget what a slayer was, never mind forgetting _his_ slayer and how he felt about her and how she treated him. There was no more alcohol to be found except the beers in the fridge and his metabolism meant they wouldn't have any significant effect. 

He pulled open a cardboard box. There were candles, crystals, bags of dried herbs, jars of who knew what and books. The vampire pulled out the topmost book and started looking for a spell that would somehow make him forget the pain, a numbing spell, a spell to block his memory of her, anything that would get the job done.

He tossed aside the first book and pulled out the second. Half way through he came to a spell he remembered. 

****

End of Chapter 1 

What could that spell be? (For those who haven't noticed the title may be a bit of a clue.)

Are you having fun yet?

If not, why not?

Reviews welcome. In fact if I thought you'd believe me I'd say they were mandatory.


	2. Ch 2 to 5

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Okay, thanks to lack of publicity for our appeal we have raised the grand total of 20pence, 50 centimes and a shirt button. So to let me and the other characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer buy ourselves out of our slavery to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and other companies we have only several million dollars to raise. So please ring 0800-SAVE-SPIKE and make your pledge for $10 or whatever you can afford.

In light of the poor response last chapter, it has been suggested that instead of having a bar graph type display that progress toward our total should be measured by removal of items of my clothing. At the minute I'm still fully dressed. So if you want to see more of my partially clothed or even naked body, get pledging.

Thanks again. 

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

****

A/N I know chapter 1 was posted when the system was still a mess, but so far I've had one review and it wasn't exactly encouraging, so I've basically decided to post up all the chapters I already had written in one go and see what the feedback is like, before I decide whether to junk this particular idea. If I get some good feedback I'll work out where I go from here, if not I'll just pull the story. I know that to begin with a lot happens much the same as the episode but by chapter 4 it's well into AU territory, but even with that said, Willow and Tara still have to get back together at some point, or at least I think they should..

And okay, if you read all this, you'll know by the time you get to the end. It isn't the "blank slate" spell from Tabula Rasa. I said the hint was in the title. I thought it was obvious. If you were being sarcastic, sorry.

****

Chapter 2 – Two Lonely People

The Magic Box was empty of customers, its only occupants the two vengeance demons who were engrossed in discussing Xander's fate. For some reason distress at Xander's departure had affected Anya's brain function in such a way that she forgot that her companion was also a vengeance demon. A vengeance demon who didn't particularly like Xander. A vengeance demon who shouldn't have any objection to granting any wish Anya might care to make concerning the Scoobies' omega male.

Halfrek seemed to have let this slip her mind as well. Maybe D'Hoffryn held them financially responsible for the cost of any wishes they granted. Whatever the reason this meant that the pair were trying to think of possible candidates to trick, coerce or bribe into making a wish against Anya's (former?) beloved.

Anya was currently bemoaning her limited social circle.

"What am I supposed to do, just _stumble_ upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt?"

Right on cue, the bell over the shop door heralded Spike's arrival. "Hey," said the peroxide vamp. "I need some stuff."

Anya immediately put on the guise of a hyper efficient shopkeeper. "So… what's your pleasure?"

"Fresh out of pleasure..." Spike moved over to the display of candles and pulled all the red ones from the shelf. "But I'll take these, if you've got another four the same stashed away in the basement or somewhere." 

"I'll check for you, Spike. Are you planning on doing some magic then? You're not normally bothered about whether your candles match or not."

"Yeah, thought I might try something."

Anya pulled Halfrek with her as she headed for the cellar and Spike could hear the two whispering to each other, though he didn't strain to hear what they were saying. The two returned to the main shop, Anya carrying an armful of red candles. She added four to those Spike had placed on the counter and put the rest to one side, ready to restock.

Halfrek grabbed her handbag and headed toward the door. "So, you know… good luck, with that… whole thing." She waved goodbye and left Spike and Anya alone in the shop.

"Sorry to bust up the little girls' night out." Spike apologised.

"Don't worry. I'm always ready to do business. Is there anything else you need?"

"No, pet. I've already got everythin' else."

"I thought you objected to magic on principle. I didn't know you even had any talent. You were the one who kept going on about consequences… but I've still rung those candles up so you still have to buy them."

"I never said I objected to the mojo, just that you have to treat it with respect. The end result has to justify the risks. Last spell I did was to bring Dru back to strength. That worked fine. It was a certain stupid little bint and her mates that caused all the problems. As to consequences, I doubt I could end up any worse off than I am now, luv."

"In that case can I recommend what I have here." Anya reached beneath the counter, pulling out a bottle of bourbon.

"Thanks, pet, but no. If I'm going to be mucking around with magic later on, then I think I'd best be sobering up not getting more drunk. I could go for something to eat though, if you feel like going to the Bronze. It must be nearly time to shut up shop."

* * * * *

The two demons in human form sat in the Bronze sharing a plate of spicy chicken wings and a "flowering onion" and a couple of beers.

"Xander thought I was rude." Anya moaned.

"That's because he's one of them. Uptight. Repressed." Spike gave vent to his own particular grievance.

"You think?"

"Please," The vamp retorted. "It's no wonder they couldn't deal with the likes of you and me, luv. We both should have been dead hundreds of years ago – and we're the only ones that are really alive.

We know what's really important. We know if you get a chance at love you don't throw it away. Being in love with someone who loves you back is the best you can get in this world and they throw it away like garbage."

* * * * *

The band on stage slowed its paced and the two blondes slowed to a halt.

"Thank you." Anya's message was barely loud enough to be heard over the club's PA system.

"Just a dance, pet. No biggie."

"No." She took hold of his sleeve as he was about to leave the floor, making him look back into her face. "Thank you."

Forestalled by her grip on his coat, Spike in turn cupped his hands under the girls elbows and the pair began to sway in time to the music; looking into her eyes he silently encouraged her to continue.

"This is the first time since… It feels good to be with someone who understands."

"Intimately."

"This whole time, I've been coming on all hell bent and mad. Wanting his head, you know?"

"Yeah." It didn't take any effort at all for the vamp to understand her feelings.

She looked near to tears as she continued. "When, really, I can't sleep at night, thinking it has to be my fault somehow-"

"Shhhhh." The vampire pulled his companion into his arms, leaving only enough distance between them to allow him to focus on her face as all her pent up cares flowed out.

"I mean, what if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me? I mean the way I wanted…" Tears finally spilled from her eyes and she made an effort to regain control. "Oh God… I'm sorry."

Spike's voice was tender as he reassured her, his fingers moving to frame her cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tears as they trickled down. "Now, now… He'd have to be more than just the git he is, Anya. He'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to want a woman like you."

"Then why?"

"The two of them, they're weak is all." He pulled her tight in his arm, oblivious to the fact that whilst their motions had gradually stilled both the band and the crowd around them had returned to a more upbeat tempo.

* * * * *

The three original Scoobies had taken over the Summers' dining room, Willow tapping away at her laptop's keyboard while Buffy and Xander watched from the other end of the table.

The slayer pushed for her friend to break the security on the nerd's transmission. "Can you get a location?"

Willow glanced up at her answering the question with her eyes before she even opened her mouth. "Hey, I'm still me. Just one- whoa."

"What? What?" questioned the blonde.

"There are other cameras." Willow's hands stilled momentarily before she began to switch between different links. "Oh my God. The Double Meat Palace. The Bronze. My classrooms on campus. Xander's site… The Bronze…" The redhead cycled back to the feed from the club as her conscious brain caught up with what her subconscious had recognised on the first run through. 

****

End of Chapter 2

Still fairly close to the episode but that will change.

Tell me what you think, you know you want to.

****

Chapter 3 – A Kiss & A Wish

Anya's tears had tailed off now and Spike's hands traced gentle caresses over her face. He placed a gentle kiss on her brow and she wrapped her arms around him under cover of a layer of black leather drawing physical and emotional support from the vampire's strength.

He spoke softly into her blonde curls, inhaling the green-apple scent of her shampoo. "They don't have the guts to follow their hearts. I wish they did, but they don't. They spend so much time being scared of everything that could go wrong that they won't let anything go right."

Anya ducked her head until her face was hidden between his chest and his duster. "Done," she whispered so quietly even Spike remained oblivious. A wave of surprise travelled through her as she realised who was the second recipient of her efforts. She reflexively raised her head, looking into Spike's eyes even as she admitted that on a certain level she had known the truth all along. 

His forehead came to rest against hers and they stood in their own private world for minutes, each simply taking comfort from the other's closeness before the jostling crowd caused the vamp to guide Anya from the dance-floor.

"Come on, kitten. I'll walk you back to wherever you're staying before I go back to my place. A morsel as pretty as you's bound to run into trouble walking home alone after dark." 

He paused to pick up the bag of candles from under the table they had previously occupied, and then moved sideways breaking a path through the club's patrons. He kept one arm draped protectively over her shoulders and Anya's arm circled his waist, her thumb hooked through the belt-loop on his jeans, each was reluctant to lose the connection engendered by the other's touch. 

* * * * *

Buffy and Xander rose from their seats, moving around the table to get the screen in view just as Spike closed the gap between him and Anya.

"What?" Buffy was the first to query Willow's shocked expression, but the redhead was preoccupied with a belated attempt to prevent Xander's approach.

"Wait, Xander, no."

The young man, if anything, was hastened by her pleas and stared at the screen as Spike kissed his former fiancée, a desperate epithet falling from his lips at the sight. Buffy's look of horror soon matched Xander's own and after a quick glance at the brunette's face her gaze returned inexorably to the screen.

Around the monochrome pair the crowd gyrated and swayed but the two stood statue still oblivious to the seething motion around them. 

The front door clashed shut and Dawn slung her backpack to the floor as she entered. "Hey guys, what's-" She too was drawn to the screen. For a second a huge smile illuminated her face until she looked across at Xander and it faded.

Willow glanced across at Buffy, hoping for guidance on how to deal with Xander and became aware of the same devastated look on her best friend's face. Microseconds later the younger Summers also noted her expression and drew her own conclusions.

Buffy's voice cut through the silence. "That's enough." She headed off through the living room. After a quick glance passed between the remaining females Dawn followed her. The pair barely had time to start a discussion when Willow caught up with them in the back yard.

"Buffy, Xander's gone… and he took a stake."

"Yeah. So. It's not like Spike can't…" Buffy's indignant response stalled as she remembered that her former kick-ass patrol partner had a major Achilles' heel. "Look after himself. Oh God. Does he have the car? How much of a head start has he got?" She even as she framed the questions the blonde was off and running round the side of the house.

"No and about a minute," Willow bounced on the balls of her feet as she shouted back.

"Sheesh," Dawn moved to watch over her shoulder and shook her head. "And she says she broke up with him. 'D Like to see how fast she could run if she was hung up on the guy."

"Love makes you do the wacky… well, um, not love, em, well in Xander's case, then love but… I think I'll go back and see if there are any more channels and then try to trace the source again."

Buffy caught up with Xander long before he got anywhere near the Bronze.

"Xander, you've got to calm down. You're not going to achieve anything by going after Spike."

"Other than an immense feeling of satisfaction, you mean? The thing should have been staked years ago."

"You don't even know what you saw. Maybe he was just comforting her. She's had a bit of a rough time lately and it's not like we've… Well, the rest of us are all closer to you than to her."

"Yeah, and Captain Sarcasm's the guy who's always there waiting when you're looking for a shoulder to cry on and I don't think." Buffy at least had the good grace to look uncomfortable but didn't interrupt. "He kissed her. Twice. He's decided to cut his losses as far as his little obsession with you's concerned. Now he's after her while she's vulnerable. Well, you know what. He's not going to get her. This thing stops right now."

"I still don't think you're right. It's not like he had his tongue down her throat or anything… is it? But, even if… Xander. You left her at the altar. You can't do that and then go throw your weight around like you've got some sort of claim."

"I can if I'm going to put her in a car, drive to Vegas and marry her tonight."

"You what?"

"When I was watching them, you know at first I just felt sick to my stomach. The whole thing just… eew. Then he kissed her and she sort of snuggled her face in against his chest, and right then I just had to do something about it. I'm the only one I want her getting that close to, and if the only way she'll have me back is if we get married, then we're getting married. I mean, it's not like we don't love each other. We do. And we'd been living together, that's pretty much like being married except for a little bit of paper. And I know I ruined her big day, but if we elope now we can always have a blessing done later when we've saved up some more money."

"Wow, big U turn."

"Yeah, well, I guess I got freaked about everything that could go wrong, but I've just got to make sure I don't let things happen like that."

"So, were you planning on staking Spike before or after the proposal?"

"…Okay, maybe it wouldn't make the best impression, but if he's trying to take advantage of her, it won't stop me." 

Buffy looked over at Xander. "Think you can cover both of us in. I kind of left in a hurry and I don't have any money?"

"Sure."

The pair scanned the bar but finally conceded that their quarry had eluded them. Buffy, however caught sight of a familiar face, Willow's one-time history tutee.

"Percy, I'm looking for someone. She was here about ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago. Anya Jenkins, she was in our year?"

"Yeah, sweet lookin' chick." Percy became aware of Xander's presence behind Buffy. "Seems I heard she got dumped even worse than Xander that Valentine's day. Way harsh, dude. She left with some guy."

Buffy, turned to face Xander briefly, indicating with frantic eye movements that Xander should back off. "Look, we just want to be sure she's okay. The guy she left with, sort of white-blonde hair, leather coat, that right?" Percy looked over to where Xander now stood a few feet away before giving a brief nod. 

"Did they look like they were together? I mean _together_ together?"

Percy moved his head closer to Buffy's, pitching his voice so only she could hear. "Looked like more of a friends thing. They had some food, couple of beers. Danced a bit, then she got all upset. Chick was cryin' her eyes out in the middle of the dance floor. He seemed to get her calmed down and then they left. I'm not saying they weren't together, I mean, I wasn't about to go ask for a dance while she was with him, but..."

The jock looked over at Xander. "What's the deal with him anyway? Dump her then stalk her?"

"Not really. He heard she was here with that guy and he was worried about her. Look. Thanks."

"Yeah, fine."

Buffy went over to where Xander leant against the bar. "Percy reckons they weren't, you know… but we've pretty much missed them."

****

End of Chapter 3

Chapter 4 – There's Always Consequences

Spike arranged the candles in a circle around the herbs and other items he'd removed from the box. He read through the instructions in the spell book one more time making sure he had everything straight in his head before he started.

It was time.

Spike picked up one of the candles and held it at an angle, using his lighter to light the wick, then moved round the circle using it to light the others. He picked up the spell-book and moved into the circle before replacing the candle, closing the gap. He took a seat cross-legged on the floor behind the various accoutrements necessary for the spell and lit the incense in its censer. He took deliberate deep breaths, inhaling the fragrance, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts not directly connected to casting the spell. The candles had burned down a full two inches before his mind was calm and clear enough to proceed with the rest of the spell.

"Harken all ye elements, I summon thee now." He dropped something into a bowl resting inside a pentacle drawn in front of him.

"Control the outside, control within.

Land and sea, fire and wind.

Out of my passions, a web be spun.

From this eve forth, my will be done.

So mote it be."

Picking up a goblet from the floor he poured its contents into the bowl. Flickers of electricity flashed around the circle like blue-violet lightning. The flame atop each of the candles flared to a height of six inches before returning to normal. The crypt as still as the grave.

Spike finally rose and extinguished the candles one by one, clearing away them and the other items used in the spell. He was confident that the spell was active. The light show at the end was proof of that. Now he needed to check that it was working as he intended.

He retrieved the empty bourbon bottle from its resting place on the floor. "I will this bottle to be filled again." He watched and waited. Nothing happened.

He let forth an exhausted sigh. "Guess I'm not all that passionate about alcohol after all… So much for the test run."

Spike let the events of the last few days run through his head. He focused on the pain that Buffy had caused him. He let her rejections make him angry and he thought of how it had infuriated him when she had said she didn't love him because he knew even if she didn't want to there was part of her that did. Only when his rage was like a red-hot coal inside him did he give voice to his desires.

"I wish that Buffy would decide exactly what it is that she really wants."

* * * * *

Buffy made her way through the centre of town, her shift at the Double Meat Palace finally over. She hadn't heard from Xander since they had finally parted company at dawn this morning. It was only after they had left the Bronze that the two of them had realised that neither of them had even asked Anya where she was staying. The Magic Box had been shuttered and dark and Spike's crypt barren; cold and forbidding. 

She had checked the subterranean portion of his home and found that whilst the room had been cleaned and those items damaged beyond repair had been removed, he had made no effort to make the room hospitable. She had felt guilty, not for the obvious reason that she had been the one to destroy it, but for something worse. She had felt that his efforts to make that room seem like a home had been part of how he'd tried to be better for her. Like some sort of nest-building exercise. The fact that he hadn't made any effort to restore the room seemed to be a sign of defeatism on his part. She had thought about all their times together, as enemies, as allies, as friends and as lovers. Always there had been a fire in everything he did, never still unless in sleep. His eyes always betraying some form of emotion, be it hatred, despair, sympathy, lust or love. Even though she knew he was dead, she had never known anyone with more passion for life. As she had looked round that sterile chamber, scrubbed until the smells of lemon and pine obliterated the lingering odours of soot, ash and burnt vinyl, she felt like she had broken some essential part of him, like she had somehow desecrated a work of art.

That feeling had stayed with her all night as she and Xander waited for his return. The hours had been slow to pass. Xander had paced the room, fidgeting with the stake he carried, checking his watch every few minutes, his ramblings first hopeful, then accusatory, then worried and back to accusatory again. Finally, the sun peaking over the horizon had forced him to admit that it was unlikely the vamp would return to his lair and Buffy had felt free to return home and get ready for work. Just the same she couldn't help but spend all day wondering just what it was that had kept Spike so busy he wasn't home before sunrise.

She told herself that she was just going home this way because it took her past Starbucks and she really wanted a proper coffee, not the stewed brew that came with non-dairy creamer which they sold in DMP, but something foamy and delicious. It was only coincidence that she would pass both The Magic Box and Spike's crypt. Pure coincidence.

Of course, now that she'd actually got into Starbucks she had no idea what she actually wanted. Hot or cold? Small, medium or large? What blend? Half-fat, whole-fat, No-fat? Half-caff, Decaff or regular? Oh boy, choices, choices. It always took her a full five minutes to make up her mind. She pulled the change from her pocket, comparing it with the price of the various coffees.

Then, instantly it came to her. Medium, half-fat, half-caff, iced mint mocha. Perfection.

* * * * *

Spike wondered if this was working. The thing was he didn't want to repeat Red's mistake. He had to make his wishes and then end the spell. The little Wicca had decided the spell wasn't working and then every little thing she said when she was all fired up started coming true, including him and Buffy getting engaged. If he wanted to, he could make that same wish, but he didn't want Buffy like that. Not if he could do it properly. He wanted the feelings she had for him to be genuine, not some spell-induced figment of her imagination. He didn't want to use the spell to make her fall in love with him. He just wanted her to own up and stop kidding herself about the feelings she did have.

"I wish Buffy would be honest about her feelings, to herself and others."

* * * * *

Buffy took her coffee and strolled in the direction of The Magic Box. When she got there her little sister was sitting on the shop's doorstep and the shutters were still down, or back down. 

"Hey, Dawn."

"Hey to you too."

"No Anya?" Buffy tried to conceal the turmoil caused by Anya's absence.

"No Anya. Did you find her and Spike last night?"

"No. No sign at the Bronze and Spike was a dirty stop-out and didn't make it home all night."

"So, d'you think…?" Dawn raised an eyebrow.

Buffy just shrugged her shoulders. 

"If they had, would you care?" Dawn asked quietly as Buffy joined her on the doorstep.

"No, I mean it would just kill Xander if-"

"I'm asking about you not Xander. Would you care?"

"Me? …Care what Spike does? …Of course n-… I do." Buffy slapped a hand to her mouth. _'What on earth did I just say? …and in front of Dawn.'_

"So if you have feelings for him, then why did you break up with him."

"Because I finally had to face up to the fact that sooner or later, if he stays here, he'll do something that'll force me to kill him. So I broke things off before I got any deeper in, before I ended up feeling more for that blonde pest than I already do because I'm not strong enough to do that again. I just can't… and because I'm ashamed of myself for being with him, so whenever we're together and anyone sees us I treat him badly 'cause I don't want them to think there's… It's easier if I keep people thinking that I hate him. Then, I'm ashamed because he's in love with me and that makes him vulnerable and I keep treating him like dirt. It's all sorts of badness, and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Dawn smiled at her sister. Her happiness at being confided in, at being treated like an equal evidenced by the gleam in her eyes.

* * * * *

__

'Okay, one last item on the wish list and then it's time to call it quits on this little escapade.'

Spike worked himself up into a temper again, ready to make his last wish. _'It's real for me, is it? Well, it's going to be real for you too, pet. No more treating Spike like a simpleton who can't even know how he feels without Buffy telling him he's wrong.'_

"I wish that Buffy would really truly understand my feelings for her."

He picked up a piece of paper on which he had scribbled some notes. Unlike Willow, he didn't want to reverse the spell effects he might have achieved. He just wanted to make sure he didn't inadvertently cause any disasters, so now he had to close of the spell from accepting further wishes.

" These wishes are all that I ask

With these things done, no further task,

By earth and air, water and fire,

No more events, my will inspire.

So mote it be."

* * * * *

"But if there's all this badness, then you must have cared about him a lot, or it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did."

"I don't know about that. At the start I was just numb, but with him I felt alive. I knew it wasn't fair on him, but I used him to get me through. I would have probably had a nervous breakdown if he hadn't helped-"

"Buffy?" Dawn shook her sister's shoulder. "Buffy?" Her sister sat on the doorstep, both hands holding her coffee in which the ice was rapidly melting. Her eyes were empty as her grave. 

"Buffy, speak to me. Buffy, you can't leave again. I need you. Stay with me." She shook Buffy harder. "Please wake up, please."

****

End of Chapter 4

Chapter 5 – California Dreamin' 

"Buffy, come back. Buffy?"

Dawn tried to shake her sister back into awareness. When that didn't work she started working out her options. She couldn't leave her unattended. It was still daylight but just the same it was Sunnydale. Taking the coffee from her hands and placing it on the ground she pulled her sister to her feet. Relief flowed through her. It worked. At least Buffy wasn't frozen to the spot and once she pulled her halfway, it was as if she did the rest of it and stayed upright on her own.

So far, so good. She pulled Buffy's bag from her shoulder and checked her purse. There was thirty dollars in it. She replaced the purse in her bag and put the bag over her own shoulder. She took Buffy's hand and walked a few paces. Buffy's body shuffled along behind her. When she stopped, it stopped. If she wasn't pulling on its arm it just stood motionless except for an occasional blink. It was all creeping Dawn out in a major way. If there was anyone else here to take charge she would just freak out and let them get on with it, but she was on her own, for now.

She pulled Buffy's body toward the nearest phone box. The first number she tried rang several times and then a machine kicked in.

"Xander, if you're there, pick up. It's Dawn…" She waited for a while but there was no response and she replaced the receiver. Willow might or might not be home but there wasn't anything Willow could do about getting the pair of them home. Why was it out of all the people who knew about the weird stuff only two of them could drive and one of them was solarly challenged and didn't have a phone? Dawn dialled a number she found on one of the stickers that festooned the booth summoning a taxi.

* * * * *

Buffy was dreaming. It was a very strange dream. She was dreaming about the night that Riley came back to town, but it was like she was watching herself. She watched herself enter Spike's crypt, feeling a tingle of excitement, a sudden happiness that she was at a loss to explain. She hadn't been happy that night and that "low down tingle" as Faith had once so eloquently put it, well it was there, but it sure wasn't right.

She tried to look down at her body, but it seemed as if she had no control. Okay, this was too weird. Time to wake up. Now… please? Try as she might she couldn't force herself to wake up. Words were coming out of her mouth, but they weren't her words. They were Spike's words. She knew exactly what Spike had been going to say when she asked him to say he wanted her and she could feel it as well. Oh my God. She was hitchhiking in Spike's body. The desire, the hope and, God help her, the love she was feeling, they were _his_. It was the way _he_ had felt that night.

She relived the earlier part of that night, from her entrance into the crypt until Spike finally drifted off to sleep, holding her in his arms. She was aware for the first time that he had been awake long after she had succumbed to her fatigue, blissfully happy just to watch her, to be allowed that close to her post coitus.

Then the dream changed, or she rode piggy back as he dreamt another dream within his dream. Spike and Xander were talking to some old man. The old man was asking about a spell Dawn did. He said she changed her mind, and Buffy felt the wave of grief at the memory before she realised what he was talking about. Spike had brought Dawn here. He had helped her when she tried to resurrect her mother. Spike had grieved for her mother? He had grieved for himself and for her pain and Dawn's.

The old guy warned her to stay away from hell-gods and she knew how much she wanted to take that advice except that choice was no choice at all because she loved Dawn more than her own life. Suddenly the old man leaped diagonally across the room in a way that suggested he wasn't an old man at all and then it was behind her but when she turned it was holding a sword to her throat. She managed to swat the blade out of the monster's hand but the manoeuvre forced her to fall over backward scattering a pile of books.

Xander tried to take advantage of it being disarmed but the beast's tongue came out like a lizard's knocking him into the wall. From her semi-prone position on the ground she watched the sole of its foot come toward her face. It picked up a wooden box and threw it into the fire returning to grab her by her T-shirt threatening her before Xander recovered enough to tackle it. 

She knew that the box was her only hope to find out what she needed to know to save Dawn, and that made her brave the flames that she knew were potentially fatal. By the time she pulled the box from the flames Xander had recovered the dropped sword and driven it through the chest of the demon and his blood seeped from the wound like blue washing-up liquid. 

She was going to leave and part of her knew that in real life she had done but some intuition forced her not to. Passing the box to Xander, she pulled the blade from the wound and used it to sever the demon's head from its body, throwing it into the fireplace. The eyes opened, no longer human looking but irises black and enlarged and the mouth opened in a silent scream. She watched until the head shrivelled and blackened and then she picked up the sword once more and hacked the remains to pieces.

The scene changed and she crouched with Xander and Anya at the bottom of the tower. Glory's underlings defended the bottom of the stairs but time was working in the slayer's favour. As long as Dream Buffy could keep Glory busy there was no one to perform the sacrifice. There would have been but there wasn't. She watched as Glory turned back into Ben and Dream Buffy rushed to the top of the tower untying her sister and bringing her down. 

Glory's minions had scattered once she was defeated and Buffy knew that Spike wanted to rush to meet his women as he thought of them. Instead he slipped away into the shadows knowing he wouldn't be wanted now he had played his part. She watched from a distance as Dream Buffy brought her sister unharmed to the ground and her heart filled with pride and love before she walked away. 

A door appeared in front of her and she opened it walking through into either a costume party or a party from Spike's youth. Her eyes scanned the room drawn to a couple who shared a sofa. She moved toward them but for some reason she was reluctant to do so. She knew that watching this was going to dig up some old remembered pain, but she didn't see how. The man was mousy, timid and he sat with his shoulders rounded in as if he was trying to make himself look smaller, like he preferred to be ignored. The woman for some reason looked vaguely familiar, but Buffy couldn't quite place her. 

She moved closer, close enough to hear what the pair were saying. She realised as she heard him speak, even though the tone was more refined than she was used to, that this was Spike, or rather William.

"I know… it's sudden and… please, if they're no good, they're only words but… the feeling behind them… I love you, Buffy."

The sound of her own name threw her and she realised that the woman in the crinoline was in fact now her. She had been busy concentrating on Spike and the world had changed around her. The girl with her face responded to William's pleas.

"Please stop!"

"I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man… and all I ask is that you try to see me-"

"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me."

Bank notes fluttered round her as she sat in the alley by the Bronze, tears running down her face, as she watched the slayers retreating back.

"But you don't see me. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it." She rose from the ground before carrying on with what she had to say to Dream Buffy, who had halted when she heard Spike's voice. "Something happened to me. The way I feel … about you … it's different. And no matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't, it's real."

She watched Dream Buffy's feet as she turned to face her. "I think it is." Her eyes rose to look at the other Buffy's face, her heart filled with hope. "For you."

A pain so deep it was almost physical lanced through her. She drew a deep breath that she didn't need as her eyes flew wide. She realised that her cheeks were wet and wiped at them with her hand, but it made little difference as more tears kept falling. 

****

End of Chapter 5 

Okay bin or keep going?

You tell me…


	3. Ch 6 Spike Brain Brain of Spike

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Okay, I know that FF has been rather temperamental lately but I do think we should have raised rather more for the campaign to free the people of Sunnydale from the tyranny of Joss Whedon, UPN, Fox etc. than the contents of one sad bint's Winnie the Pooh piggy-bank. I'm getting rather desperate here and beginning to look back fondly on the days when I was chained up in Giles's bathtub. In fact, if there's any nice ladies out there willing to make contributions in the six-figure range, I could even be persuaded to spend some time chained up in their bathtub. (Four or five figure contributions could potentially negotiate a similar deal with Harris or the Watcher, in that order – even though Old Rupes seemed to manage to escape the worst carnage of Series 6. (All very suspicious, especially since someone who looks exactly like him just happened to turn up on some BBC spy program. Hmm, maybe the CoW has connections we never realised?) 

Blurb over. You know the number 0800-SAVE-SPIKE. Get ringing.

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

****

Chapter 6 – Spike Brain, Brain of Spike

__

'Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bloody bitch!' 

Spike pulled a pack of cigarettes and his lighter from underneath the corner of his pillow. Flicking the pack open, he pursed his lips around one of the exposed butts, pulling it from the packet. A brief blue-orange flicker of flame provided unnecessary illumination as he indulged one of his rapidly dwindling number of vices.

It was still only just after full dark. He'd got back to the crypt just after sundown, whilst it was still light. He'd cast the spell straight away and gone directly to bed in an effort to make up for the absence of sleep the previous night. An hour later, he was awake again.

__

'All that bloody bitch's fault… unless of course you believe in karma, in which case it would be all my fault for how I treated Harm, and I'm still due a staking.' He picked up his jeans from the floor and pulled them on, rummaging in a casket on the floor for a clean T-shirt, shirt and socks.

__

'And, if she is_ a bitch, whose fault is that? God knows she had her moments, like in that alley, "beneath me", but she was never the Wicked Witch of the West before… So if she's turned into superbitch it's no more than you deserve. If you'd kept your promise… Anyway she's your superbitch, so what are you complaining about._

'Cause she isn't, not really, and even if she was I'd still rather never have her and see her happy, like she was before Glory. I haven't seen her laugh in years, but I made her smile. Not often, but now and again on the back porch, I made her smile.'

Images from his dreams came back to him as he prepared to head out on patrol.

__

'Okay, Doc and the tower, I get. Three hundred and forty two days and I'm still occasionally coming up with a new twist on what I could have done to save her. And yeah, can't say the bit at the end isn't obvious, but Cecily or Halfrek or Hallie or whatever the hell she's calling herself these days? Where the hell does she fit in?

Right next to the slayer.

No, Cecily was just some spoilt upper-class bitch who couldn't see anything except the fact that "society" would never approve if she were to even consider a suit from someone with fewer resources than her family. I was a damn sight better off once I realised that.

And except for not being upper class and it being the vampire thing instead of money, Buffy's different how? 

Face facts. No woman has ever thought it was worth the effort to get to know you. Dru saw straight through you like a sheet of glass the minute she met you, and in her own darling demented way she loved you for eleven decades, even if you were second best, she at least loved you. She knew you better than you knew yourself and she still loved you. There's not one other woman who even tried. Well Harm, but there was as much chance of her understanding you as there is of a chimpanzee understanding nuclear fusion. But she tried.

Yeah, Dru knew you. She knew you never really tried to kill her. Yeah, slayer throws you through walls and you keep fighting but one little tap with an axe from her mother and you call it quits. It's not like slayer strength's hereditary. The slayer could kick you harder than Joyce hit you with that axe. And you knew that going in a day early would cock up the Annoying One's plans for St. Vigeous, and if they had worked… and the big scaredy run away at Halloween… and, yeah, of course you would have still given Dru the bits of the judge if you actually believed he would really come back together and destroy the world. Nothing to do with the fact you thought the whole thing was a total crock… and Acathla… and the little na-na-na-na "It's the ring" speech.

Hell, you make it sound like I was in love with her the minute I saw her. Make me sound like that bloody child-molesting Ponce. I gave up on little girls once I hit eighteen so who are you trying to kid?

No, you probably fancied Joyce more at the start, especially after she had the balls to thump you with that axe, but you were always attracted to what she had the potential to become. Especially once you met her mum. You do at least realise that the traits they get from Joyce are the ones that make you love them all. You never wanted to kill her. Except in a bloody pissed-off, lasts for five minutes kind of way. Most of the time killing her was just an excuse to come back. Dru was just a bit premature about saying you loved her, but then sometimes she had a better grip on the future than she did on the present. Can't really blame her for being a bit confused.

Okay, so why that night with the eggs? Why do I keep coming back to that?

'Cause that's the closest you ever got to not being just another Riley. In her bed, well, in her arms, at least, but never in her heart. That was the one time she let you in, before her and Cardboard screwed the whole thing up between them. Still don't know which is worse, if I'd never had any part of her, or having her body while her mind and her heart stay shut up in ice.

It's all her fault anyway. What the hell are you meant to do when your bimbo girlfriend kills your poker buddy's mate in the middle of nesting season? Surprised he didn't just string us up there and then… Mated for seventy years and then 'cause some bint doesn't open any of her watcher's books long enough to tell the difference between a species that's perfectly peaceful if occasionally grumpy when losing at poker and gets a bit territorial when they're nesting and your average psycho sewer dweller, I get shafted again.

And it's not like I can play her little trick and tell everybody she's not my girlfriend 'cause – demons - they can smell her all over me. So I end up stuck in a room with a guy that's wife's just been killed by my "never be my girl"-friend for no good reason other than the fact she can be as thick as two short planks from time to time. If he tells me that I'm looking after his bloody eggs while he's out of town, it's not like I can say, "let their mother look after them" is it? And I mean God had we heard about those eggs… He'd been happily anticipating eating all his young for weeks. Bloody good job he didn't make it back to town 'cause even I'd feel guilty if I had to kill him, and he'd definitely want to kill me, now. I don't think the two that fitted in the icebox would be much consolation. I'll have to clear them out some time.

But will she let you get a word in edge-ways to explain? No, just gives the ex a helping hand to beat me up, and I mean, as if the wanker would dare face me one on one without this chip in my head. Listens to all his little stories as if they're gospel cause human equals good. Demon equals evil. The fact that the soldier boy and I have detested each other from the second we were aware of each other, well, I suppose really from the point he realised I wasn't "a friend of Xander's", up until then it was a bit one-sided, that wouldn't have any influence on anything he said. Wouldn't make him believe some pile of crap somebody feeds him in Willy's, a bar I can't even drink in any more, thanks to my association with little Miss Prissy Britches. And of course he'd never just make stuff up himself just to see me shafted, no-o-o. Course not. Only the evil soulless demon would lie to precious little Buffy.

And, yeah even if they did hatch, it's not like a dozen baby Nevlon's are such a threat they warrant blowing up somebody's bedroom. Never seen Nev go for anything bigger than a kitten. Half the bloody albums they wrecked were older than either of them. Bitch. Wanker. Whichever. Don't really want to know which of the pair of them did it. Doesn't matter, it'll probably still cost a good few grand to replace half the albums, and the other half just can't be replaced. 

Probably work out cheaper renting a place, buying a PC, subscribing to broad band and downloading everything than trying to replace them on vinyl or CD. Not the same though. Hell of a lot of good memories went along with those albums. Bitch. Hate not having music… but not a hundredth as much as you hate losing her… not even a thousandth…'

Spike's internal monologue (or should that be dialogue because he did seem to argue with himself a lot) rumbled on through his head as he patrolled through all twelve cemeteries, and Buffy heard every word of it. She thought he'd been being melodramatic when he claimed that he dreamt about her, and thought about her all the time, that he was drowning in her. Now she knew it was nothing but the truth. Well except for the half-hour he spent wondering what he'd missed on Passions while he was holed up in the mansion.

Buffy was beginning to wonder if you could get a headache when you didn't have a head. Spike's brain seemed to whirr constantly, and fascinating as the insight was in places she was wondering if he would ever shut up. And she wasn't thick as two short planks, whatever that meant… and boy was she going to have words with him about his ice-box… if she ever got her mouth back.

* * * * *

"Okay, so Buffy is catatonic, yet again. Anya is missing, last seen at the Bronze with Spike and Xander hasn't rung, so we're assuming he hasn't made it home from work yet." Willow summed up the situation.

Dawn looked across the room at the only members of the Scooby gang she'd been able to round up, Tara and Willow. She hadn't wanted to leave Buffy on her own and by the time Willow had made it home it was too dark to go looking for Spike without back up. Tara had come over once she got a message on her answering machine.

"That's about it, except for the fact there's no food in the house and if we order pizza it'll use the last of the money in Buffy's purse." Dawn added.

"I'll cover us for pizza for tonight." Tara offered, "and if Buffy's not any better tomorrow I'll do some grocery shopping and I'll cook. Everything's going to be okay, sweetie. We'll make sure you're okay."

"I think I'd rather have Buffy back, no offence."

"I know, Dawnie, but I don't know yet if there's anything we can do." Willow put in her ten cents worth. "We have to work out what's causing it, and what is actually going on in her head before we can find out what we have to do. But I'm not even sure that that should be our number one priority."

"How can you say that?" Dawn squealed. "She's supposed to be your best friend."

"Dawn, whatever else Buffy is here at least in body. No one knows what's happened to Anya or even Xander for that matter. We know that Buffy saw Xander this morning and that Spike hadn't come home. If Xander met up with either or both of the others after he left Buffy, there's no saying what might have happened given the mood he was in when he left here last night. I mean, do any of us know for sure that Spike's chip is still working?"

"Spike wouldn't hurt anyone even if his chip did stop working." Dawn refused to even contemplate the suggestion. "He might give Xander a black eye or two but nothing serious and he wouldn't do anything to Anya or to Buffy."

"Besides, I know it was working a couple of weeks ago," Tara added quietly.

"How do you know? Did he try to hit you or something?" Willow asked.

"No, nothing like that. Buffy told me… unless… Buffy wanted me to check up on the resurrection spell, because Spike's chip wasn't picking her up as human. It still worked on other people, but not on her. Maybe it's nothing to do with the spell; maybe it's some sort of gradual failure in the chip. We don't know what criteria the chip uses to decide who's human and who isn't. If Buffy was when it started to go wrong maybe there are more and more people 'falling through the net'."

"I'm not saying you're wrong about the chip, but Spike wouldn't hurt any of us whether his chip worked or not." Dawn was adamant.

"But you weren't the one he kidnapped or threatened with a broken bottle or tried to drain…" Willow interjected.

"I don't think he would either, sweetie," Tara replied to Dawn, "but right now, we haven't a clue what's happening and we have to consider all the possibilities.

Why don't you try ringing Xander again? Maybe he's got back and he just hasn't noticed that he's got a message. I'll go up and have a look at Buffy. I might be able to pick up some clue as to what's going on by having a look at her aura. If we can get hold of Xander then maybe a couple of us can go look for Spike, unless Xander has any news that helps us out.

Otherwise, I think maybe we should all stay together. It might not be coincidence that people who help Buffy are disappearing at the same time she's incapacitated. That is if you girls don't mind me sleeping on the couch?"

Both the other girls shook their heads, Willow most vehemently not having any objection. 

**End of Chapter 6**

Okay. The over all consensus seemed to be to keep going.

So let me know if this chapter met with your approval too.

Sorry to anyone who found chapter 5 confusing. It was a pain to write as well, but the idea was that because of the spell Buffy was experiencing Spike's dreams as if she were Spike. So she was quite often "seeing" or "talking to" herself which was all a bit weird. It took about four passes through to try to get the pronouns vaguely consistent all the way through. 

Spike in his dream could watch the Buffy in his dream, bring Dawn down from the tower, because killing Doc the night before meant he wasn't there to start the sacrifice. Just one of the ways that Spike did something smarter and saved Dawn, and Buffy's consciousness saw it all from his viewpoint.

Hope that helps clear things up.


	4. Ch 7 Phone Calls and Housecalls

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Okay, apparently there ARE a few of you women out there with a thing for chains and bathtubs. There are even some who like watchers chains and bathtubs, but it does appear that the attractions of the Sunnydale men only extends as far as the ex-pat contingent, which is a longwinded way of saying no-one wants the bricklayer. Now, ladies we all know that the guy is in a sorry state. When last seen he didn't really need the suit to be "Puffy Xander" and the drink was starting to have an effect on his general hygiene, but we are talking about keeping him in a bathtub. You could give him a quick wash while he's in there, and the drinking and the overeating were all "Joss S6" things. If you send enough money to pay off Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN et al, you can make Xander exercise. You can make him work out until he's your Diet Coke type construction guy, instead of the builders bum cleavage type of guy. Be kind ladies.

Dial 0800-SAVE-SPIKE and pledge now.

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

****

Chapter 7 – Phone calls and house calls

"H-hi."

A blast of rock music drowned out the first part of the reply before the guy on the other end of the phone moved to a slightly quieter spot and Dawn was still pondering who in that bar would play "Living on a Prayer" when she made out, "… Grill, Dave Sspeaking."

"Hi, Dave, I-I was wondering if maybe Spike was there tonight… or Clem even?"

"Haven't sseen Sspike ssince lasst week, but Clem'ss in back. Don't know if he'll be able to get to the phone though, leasst not sstraight away."

"Can you give him a message please? Ask him to ring Dawn and if Spike does show up can you tell him the same. The number's 555 3479. Yeah? …and the name's Dawn. Thanks."

"555 3479. Dawn. I'll tell him."

Dave stuck the post-it note next to the phone and moved to serve the group who had come in whilst he was talking to the slayer's little sister.

* * * * *

"There's still no answer at Xander's place, but I had a thought and rang the bar where Spike plays poker. Spike wasn't there but Clem is, so I left a message for him to ring here. He might know where Anya's staying or a phone number or something. He must know Anya somehow 'cos she asked him to the wedding and even if he doesn't know how to contact her he might go check up on Spike for us. Make sure he's okay."

"Good thinking." Willow put down a pile of sheets and blankets on the coffee table; ready to make up the sofa as a bed when she and Dawn went upstairs. 

Dawn fidgeted around holding the cordless phone in her hand waiting for Clem's call and watching for Tara returning downstairs. As it turned out Tara's return came first.

"What's the verdict?" Dawn deliberately kept her tone bright and cheerful, trying not to let the Wiccans know how concerned she was about her sister's condition.

"I don't know what the problem is, Dawnie. Somehow, whatever makes Buffy Buffy isn't there any more, but I don't know how."

"So you're saying Buffy's soul is gone."

"Well, it's not really just her soul. I mean, take Spike. No soul, but very definitely his own unique personality. It's like everything except that part of her brain that makes her breathe, blink, that sort of thing is missing."

"Not wanting to sound all eughy here, but when I pulled her she would walk. If we take her to the toilet, do you think…? 'Cos it's a long long time since we kept any rubber sheets in the house and Buffy would not be happy if she came to in depends underwear, and can we get her to eat and drink 'cos dehydration…"

"Daw-wwn" Both the witches sounded grossed out by the question, but the longer the slayers "blank" state went on the more pressing these practical matters were going to become.

"I'm serious, and even if it is something mystical that's causing this if we can't get her to eat and drink, she's going to have to be hospitalised and if they put her back on the psych ward we could really lose her even if we get the missing bits back." Dawn launched her way through the sentence at breakneck speed, her fears starting to show.

"We have to find her, soon." Willow looked at the other women in the room. "Tara, could you do the locator spell we did when Faith and Buffy switched on your own?"

"No, you need someone to act as an anchor, and Dawn hasn't got the experience to do it. I can do the normal, use a map sort of location spell though, but I don't have all the ingredients, well I don't have anything here, but there's stuff I'd need from the Magic Box."

"If we get Spike he can pick the lock, or he knows a way into the basement through the sewer tunnels. He could pick things up if we gave him a list. Could we check on Anya using the same spell?" Dawn demonstrated part of the reason Buffy didn't like the combination of Spike and her sister.

"As long as she's in this plane, sweetie, but it's a lot easier if anyone has something of hers."

"Not any more," muttered Dawn under her breath, as she looked at her feet. 

"I managed to get a fix on where the camera signals were going last night. We'll know if the signals are going to the same place as anyone who's missing."

Tara looked over at Willow not wanting to ask her next question out loud. If they were being held by "The Trio" then who was left to send?

* * * * *

Spike wandered back homewards. Patrol had been moderately successful and he'd let off a bit of steam, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep yet, not without the dreams. It looked like tonight was not a night for staying close to home. He strode across the grass to his door, the beginning of a smile on his face. He had plans for the night; nothing that couldn't be changed if it turned out the slayer was waiting for him ready to declare her undying love, but failing that…

__

'Bint's more likely to come tell you 'bout her undying love for Peaches than come tell you she cares about you, anyway. Even if she was there, and I would know by now if she was, you're still probably better off getting out of there. I mean when was the last time she said anything you wanted to hear? "It hurts." …and even that did more to make you feel bad than it did to make you feel good. And before that? When did she ever actually say anything totally nice to you? Something not about sex, or in the middle of sex. "Sometimes." Yeah, that was nice! Honest though, pity it translates as not most of the time. There are moments when I can tolerate your presence but most of the time I don't like you."

He pushed open the door to the crypt and grabbed some bits and pieces, ticking them off on a mental list before heading back out again.

__

'"I can be alone with you here." What are you doing here? The last time you can remember her saying something nice to you was before you even kissed the bint. You tell yourself that she cares about you, that if she'd let herself it could be love. That if she'd let you treat her the way you want to…"

Spike kick-started the motorbike and started navigating his way to the outskirts of town.

__

"Yeah, if you could turn up knock on the front door and just take off on the bike with her behind you, get her to let her hair down for an hour or two. Watch a video with her and Niblet. Have dinner waiting for her when she comes home late from that hell she calls a job. Be a family, you her and Dawn.

Get a grip, mate. She's told you she doesn't love you. Says you have to move on. Don't you remember? It made you mad enough before. Tore your fuckin' heart out at the same time, but it made you mad and if you don't stay mad you'll end up worse than Broody Boy in LA so just stay mad or better yet just forget about her till she comes to you. Let her get on with her life without you if that's what she really wants."

Spike pulled the bike over on Crawford Street about quarter of a mile before he would have reached the mansion he'd once shared with Angelus and Dru. He strode towards the front door of another large old house, his boots crunching on the moon-washed gravel. He scanned the list of names, before pushing the second of the six doorbells.

****

End of Chapter 7


	5. Ch 8 Reconciliation

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Okay, we're running out of chapters here, and we still haven't made enough money for me to take off even my coat. That being the case, I've come to a decision, which is to spend the summer making my way from bathtub to bathtub for those six figure sums I mentioned, and then use the cash to bribe Joss into giving me more screen time and a bit of fun when I get back to Sunnydale.

If you can't buy them out then you can at least slip him a twenty now and then for better treatment.

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

****

A/N: In case you hadn't guessed by now the original projected 6-8 chapters is looking more like maybe 10ish.

****

Chapter 8 - Reconciliation 

"Clem? Is that you?"

"Hey. Dave said you were looking for me."

"Yeah, two hours ago. I guess he wasn't real quick passing on the message."

"Guess not. You looking for your sister, 'cos I kinda get the impression her and Spike aren't together any more, at least Spike's back with the moody and when-"

"Clem, Buffy's here, but, well it's complicated. We need to get hold of Spike. Anya's gone missing. The shop was all shut up and none of us know where she's living now she's moved out of Xander's so we don't know if she's just ill or whether she's really missing. Xander's not answering his phone and there's only me, Willow and Tara and we can't leave Buffy alone."

"Well I suppose I could ring Anya, see if she answers, but I don't know if I should give you her address. I mean she might be okay about it, but most demons would get a bit upset if you told the slayer where they lived. And given what she is, not a good idea to be on bad terms."

"Anya's back with the vengeance gig?" Dawn's voice was halfway to a squeak. Willow's mouth fell open as she listened to Dawn's side of the conversation.

"Oh-Oh! Guess she didn't tell you guys then… Hallie said D'Hoffryn offered her her old job back after the wedding… You still want me to ring her?"

"Please. If you can. D'you think you could swing by Spike's crypt as well, get him to come over to our place or give us a call as soon as possible, unless you don't get an answer at Anya's. Then it might be better if he checked there to see if there was any trouble, unless he knows where she is 'cause none of us can do that… Just tell him to call me ASAP. Tell him it's urgent. Tell him I need him."

* * * * *

"This is bad. This is very, very bad." Willow paced the room as she spoke.

"Well, I guess it means Xander's responsible for messing up her life even more than we thought, but I mean she's still Anya. We just have to be really careful what we say," Dawn replied.

"No Dawn, think about it. Have you spoken to Anya since she came back? It all makes sense now. She was trying to get one of us to wish something awful on Xander. And then she hooks up with Spike who hates Xander and you spoke to Buffy after she saw the pair of them and then Buffy's like this and Xander's not answering his phone. She got Spike to make a wish and now she's skipped town 'cos she knows we'll come after her."

"He wouldn't. Spike would never hurt Buffy…" Dawn tailed off.

"He already did. You saw her face last night. She maybe wasn't as bad as Xander, but she was hurt and even if Anya and Spike didn't have some sort of conspiracy Spike still might have said something without realising. Oh God, I can't believe we didn't realise what she was trying to do."

"Hind-sight's always twenty-twenty, sweetie," Tara tried to soothe her former lover. "But we still don't know what's happened. I mean it's possible, but it is just one possibility, and in a way if that is what happened, then it might be a good thing because then Anya would be able to reverse it wouldn't she? She might be angry at Xander for a while, but she still loves him, she's just really hurting. When she calms down she'd reverse whatever's happened. I'm sure she would." Tara's arms wrapped themselves around the distraught redhead, pulling her close.

"Ehm, I'm just going to take the phone upstairs and sit with Buffy." Dawn practically tiptoed from the room leaving the former lovers alone.

"What if Xander's dead? Most of the guy's Anya did stuff to, they died."

"Anya wasn't in love with any of them. Remember how you nearly cursed Oz when he left you, but you couldn't do it because you loved him. That's what it would be like for Anya to do a vengeance spell on Xander."

Tara stroked amber strands away from Willow's tear-streaked cheeks and Willow trembled beneath her touch.

"I know, but I also remember trying to kill Xander because I didn't want him to be with anyone else."

"That wasn't you. That was the spell. It's nearly impossible to use magic to create true love. The feelings you had because of the spell were more like an obsession than love. That's why it made you selfish. Without the influence of the spell you would never hurt Xander."

"But I hurt you."

"You underestimated the pull of the magic. You let it envelop you so deep you lost sight of who you were and who I was but I don't believe you ever did anything with the intent of harming me. It just got to the point where you used magic for everything as an automatic response and you didn't think about what it was you were really doing."

"Did I say how sorry I was?"

"You said it lots of times, but until now you never sounded like you meant it. You were getting too much of a kick out of having that much power to regret anything enough to give it up." Tara took a deep breath.

"Will, things went so wrong before, and there's so much work we both have to do to rebuild any sort of relationship. What happened, it's changed both of us and that's going to change how we react to each other. It's going to take time before we trust each other the way we did before, but, baby, when I see you like this, I just want to be able to hold you and kiss away all the pain. Can I? Could we be getting through this together?" 

Willow tilted her head back to claim the lips of the woman she loved in a gentle kiss. For the longest time, the two sat on the sofa, Willow cradled in her lovers arms exchanging the sweet kisses and gentle caresses that were the promise of a more passionate night to come. For a time they were able to forget the problems that surrounded them.

* * * * *

Spike pulled the bike over at the side of the road as quickly as he could. He looked down at the surf pounding against the cliff base forty feet below as he finally located what he was looking for in his coat pocket. He checked the caller ID before accepting the incoming call.

"Hey, Clem. How's it hangin'?"

"Ehm… that's rhetorical right?"

"If you say so. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"When are you going to tell the slayer and her people that you've got a cell-phone?"

Spike gave a snort of derision. "When hell freezes over. She's already got me by the balls. No need to give her the chance to have them stuffed and mounted over the fireplace."

__

'Or I might have found out two minutes ago when you heard it ringing,' thought Buffy as she eavesdropped on the conversation.

"Well, you might change your mind. Dawn rang the bar looking for you. It took Dave two hours to pass on the message. There's some sort of trouble I don't think she wanted to say over the phone, but the slayer's out of commission…"

__

'And I'm shocked and surprised by this since there's no-one driving…' the slayer said to herself since there was no-one else to hear her.

"…Anya and her ex have gone missing. She said to get you to ring as soon as possible. She said she needs you."

"Clem, get off the line. I've got a call to make."

"Tell her Anya's not answering her phone then."

"She's not answering 'er soddin' doorbell either, just get off the phone."

****

End of Chapter 8


	6. Ch 9 Finding Out

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Right then. This is almost the last you're going to hear from me until after the summer. As usual for some reason we're getting our normal three-month break where Joss W, ME and everybody else that owns bits of us stop pushing us around. I've decided to head off to Australia for a few weeks. Had a very nice offer from a rather cute little blonde regarding the use of her hot tub, and since it's winter down there, not too much sunshine to worry about and by all accounts even the humans seem to manage some really wild parties, I thought why not.

Not like Buffy's going to know whether I came straight back from Africa or not. Give her a little bit longer to cool off before I go back.

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

****

Chapter 9 – Finding Out

Spike parked the bike in front of the house, scanning to see if perhaps Anya had left any of her windows unlocked. It was possible that living in a second floor flat, which these benighted colonials would insist on saying was on the third floor, she might have. Spike couldn't help but think about how Anya had felt in his arms the night before. Vulnerable, warm, welcoming and accepting of affection. He remembered how their bodies had felt against each other; her back against his front, legs tangled together, his cheek resting against her shoulder. He also remembered that it had been incredibly easy to tell when she finally drifted to sleep because she snored fit to wake the dead, except he hadn't gone to sleep in the first place. He just lay and held her. 

Sometime, last night, his relationship with Anya had crossed a line. He would put his life on the line to save any of the Slayer's friends. In the case of Harris, it was mostly for Buffy's sake. 

Tara was a special case in herself. He had never met anyone so pure. He loved her. He doubted that there was a male outside her immediate family who knew her to any degree who wasn't at least a little bit in love with her. It was a love that held more than a hint of awe in it. He had no idea how "an evil soulless thing" was drawn to her the way he was, because sometimes he felt her very presence should burn like holy water or a cross, she was so good. To save her he'd do anything within his power, but if he couldn't do that, he didn't know what he'd do. Tara would be appalled at the idea of violence in her name, but he didn't know if he could let someone who harmed her go free.

Other than Buffy she was the one he feared to lose the most. It seemed to him that even God or her goddess would be too jealous of her time to let her live long amongst mortals. She was just too good for this world.

The Summers women, right down to the deepest, most primordial level of his being, were his. He'd give his life to save either one. Or if he failed he'd give his life to see vengeance done. His feelings for the others occupied a grey area between the two extremes and if anything were to happen to them, he'd just do what seemed right at the time, but somehow last night Anya had moved onto the same list as Buffy and Dawn. On its simplest level he'd stayed because she couldn't get to sleep when she was alone but on another she had opened up to him at her weakest and accepted his protection. She had become his.

He swore if someone had hurt her, human or demon, chip or no chip, they were going to suffer. He wondered about the tranquilliser gun that the Construction King had used on the Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik the other week. The chip had gone off with that replica gun Xander had given him, but that had been when he still thought it was real. Tranquilliser darts don't really do any damage in themselves. Interesting theory. Might have to try that one out. Tying people up doesn't hurt either.

Buffy, for her part, was glad that she was beginning to pick up the subtext, sense memories and emotional memories that went with his thoughts. She was glad his memories included the feel of heavy denim on his legs and Anya's over-size flannel shirt against his chest. She was happy that his concern for her friend and his feelings for her had over-ridden his physical reaction to Anya's presence. She knew his resolve had wavered when he remembered her last words to him, that he'd wanted so much to let his and Anya's pain wash away in a tide of passion even if it brought them both only a brief respite.

She knew that, in his mind, there had been no infidelity, but still she felt betrayed because there had been more tenderness, more mutual solace and a deeper feeling of connection in their platonic sharing of a bed, than there had been in all her and Spike's shagging sessions. She felt jealous and she felt angry at him but most of all she felt angry and frustrated at herself because Spike would willingly have given her everything she wanted, if she hadn't been so busy hurting both of them by pushing him away. Finally, she admitted to herself that she wanted Spike just as much as he wanted her.

The outer door of the apartment building had a number keypad instead of a conventional lock although any of the residents could "buzz" visitors through without leaving their own apartments. Spike could remember the numbers Anya had used the night before, but it took him three attempts to put them in the correct order. Soon after that he let himself into her apartment using skills picked up over a century of delinquency. He made straight for the bathroom. Her toothbrush and various toiletries were no longer where they had been when he had had a wash this morning.

A glance in the bedroom showed the bed had been made and various outfits now lay on top of the quilt still on their hangers, the wardrobe door standing open. There were no signs of a struggle anywhere. Back in the lounge the note he had written before departing at first light still lay on the coffee table but not quite where he'd left it, as if she'd read it and then put it back.

Spike was willing to bet that wherever Anya was, she might have left in a hurry, but she'd left of her own free will and she was intending to come back. 

He rang Dawn and brought her up to date. "Any chance you can get a phone number for any of the rest of Sunnydale's answer to Village People? I bet you Droopy Boy either put in some holiday or phoned in sick this morning. Looks to me like he's finally grew a pair and done the decent thing."

"Tito."

Spike sighed. "Niblet, for one thing Tito was one of the Jacksons not Village People and for another I wasn't really talking about bands I was talking about the guys that Mr Staypuft works with."

"Tito is one of the guys he works with- and he did our plumbing when the basement flooded. I just need to find the bill in Buffy's file. Couldn't you check on Xander's place as well to be on the safe side?"

"No. Couldn't. Never been invited… and even if I had, getting the stuff from The Magic Box so Glinda can find out what's wrong with Buffy's more important. I only checked Demon Girl's first 'cos if she'd come home she could have let me in properly and it was on the way. Otherwise I'd have picked up the stuff you want and then gone for a nose around while Tinkerbell did her job. So just run over that list again."

Buffy picked up that the "No Spike" zone around Xander's apartment bothered him more than he would ever admit that it was an indication of the lack of acceptance for him within the group.

* * * * *

"Are you going to tell me why I'm climbing in a fifteen-year old girl's bedroom window like a sad impersonation of the paedophile Poofter instead of coming in through the front door, Niblet?" Spike skipped the usual formalities.

"Because I don't want to disturb Will and Tara until we have to. It looked like they might be settling their differences before, so I cleared out."

"Fancy takin' me to see your sis then?"

Dawn led the way through into Buffy's room, where Buffy's body lay motionless on the bed.

As soon as he saw her there, Buffy felt the anxious lump Spike had been carrying round in his stomach since Clem's phone call turn into a physical pain. He moved to the bedside and held her nearest hand in both of his.

"I shut her eyes before," she said, "but I don't know which is worse. This way she looks dead. With them open…"

Spike's attention seemed to be fully taken up by the figure on the bed but Buffy could tell that what was going on inside was roughly three parts love and concern to one part thirst for vengeance.

__

'He already is incredibly sorry, you pillock,' she thought._ 'No! Using Spikisms! Must get out of Spike's head now'_

Finally Spike regained enough composure to return his attention to Dawn.

"How are you coping, pet?"

"Holding together… just."

"So what do the witches think is going on?"

"Tara says her essence is missing. She's going to try to do a location spell to see where it is and then we might find out who did it. Willow thinks you and Anya formed some sort of pact to liquefy Xander's entrails and do whatever this is to Buffy. I think she's been channelling Xander's paranoia… oh, and Xander put in a week's holiday, so I think you're right."

"Have you told Willow that? …And why does she think it's me and Anya?"

"'Cos she knows there was something going on with you and Buffy, 'cos of Buffy's face when she saw you and Anya at the Bronze …and she saw you too. Well, we all did but I don't think Willow knows that you and Buffy were bonking. I didn't get it until I saw the way she was looking at the screen and then it all made sense."

"Glad it did for you, pet. How about we go down, get that bag of eyeballs and everything off the porch and let Glinda do her spell. Then you can explain in English from the beginning."

He waited till Dawn had turned away to go downstairs before he placed a chaste kiss on Buffy's forehead.

"Whatever it takes, love. We'll do whatever it takes to get you back," he whispered to her.

__

'…And when you do, you're going to get another smack on the nose for perving on my body when I'm not in it… and it's not my fault that I smell of hamburger. If it wasn't for you I'd have had a shower hours ago. Pig.' 

* * * * *

"No, Red. I did not know Demon Girl was a demon again. I always call her that. No, I couldn't tell you if I made any wishes in front of her because, A, I had a bit to drink before I went to the shop and, B, I wouldn't really pay any attention to whether I did or not seeing as Anya, formerly known as Anyanka, patron saint of scorned women, wouldn't pay any attention to me if I did what with me being in possession of a Y chromosome and therefore ineligible for her professional attention. I _can_ tell you that I sure as hell didn't say anything remotely resembling a wish in front of Cecily or whatever she's calling herself these days.

And, C, I don't happen to believe it's any of your business what I have or haven't been doing with either Buffy or the demon bint. If either of them want to say anything that's up to them, but you're not going to hear it from me, Miss Stay Away From Her She's Our Friend And We Can Take Care Of Her. You were keen enough to assume I was as popular as the Hellmouth equivalent of Typhoid Mary last week so why don't you just stick to that.

And, D, if you'd stayed quiet long enough for Dawn to tell you what we've found out so far then you might have realised how ridiculous your bloody trumped up accusations are. There's her scarf so Glinda can do your location spell on her too and if she isn't somewhere where there's no waiting for a marriage licence and Harris isn't there with her I'll be very surprised."

Spike stormed off in the direction of the back door, pulling cigarettes and lighter from his pockets as he went.

Buffy knew that if she'd been sitting in the room during his little outburst instead of sitting in his head then she would have been furious with him, but from in here she could tell just how scared, helpless and isolated he felt. She knew he was reliving what it had been like for him and Dawn when she died. She knew that only his responsibility to her sister would stop him from watching the sunrise if she didn't come back. _'…And knowing our luck, when you turned to dust I'd end up back in my body, either in a loony bin or a coffin.'_

Fifteen minutes later Dawn came and joined him on the back step. There were already four butts at his feet and he was close to finishing his fifth.

"I would have come out sooner but I wanted to see what happened with the spells and I thought you might want a bit of time to calm down."

"Was never mad at you, Bit. So do we know what's happening yet?"

"Surprise, surprise, Anya and Xander are in Vegas."

"Wonder if he knows she got her powers back? And Sis…"

"Well, either the spell didn't work or she's here. Tara was wondering if she could check out your aura."

Comprehension finally began to dawn on the unfortunate vampire.

"Dawn, this thing with Buffy. It wasn't say, about an hour, hour and a half after sundown, was it?"

"Yeah, she was on her way home after work. It was still light but the sun had set."

Spike hadn't quite worked out exactly how, but this had to be his fault.

"Bollocks!"

* * * * *

"So, can Mrs Harris ever forgive me for being such an idiot that I almost let her get away?"

"She can and she will once we have the blessing and reception back home, but this time we just have close family and that's it."

"How close are we talking Ahn?"

"Willow, Giles, Buffy, Dawn, Tara and Spike."

"You don't want to invite my parents but you want to ask Spike."

"Xander Harris, I think if you're prepared to marry a demon, you should be prepared to make friends with one. Spike isn't the monster you like to think he is."

"Spike is a demon. You're an ex-demon. There's a big difference."

"Actually, sweetie-pie, I'm a former ex-demon and you couldn't tell the difference." Anya did a rapid change into demon face and back.

Xander took a large gulp from the champagne glass he was holding. "Ahn, honey, I love you to bits but don't you think you should have mentioned this before now. When were you planning to tell me?"

"Now-ish, when we were ready to exchange gifts."

"Ahn, I don't think I can live with it if you're going to be giving guys boils, or turning them into perpetual patio torches for their ex-girlfriends."

"That's why this is my wedding gift to you… as long as you promise not to smash it." She removed the antique locket that acted as her power centre and passed it to Xander.

"As long as you're not wearing it, you're human, right?"

"Either that or I'm a demon in human form with no powers. Either way I'll be the girl you fell in love with."

Xander looked about to protest and then shut his mouth. He didn't really want to try to work out whether that meant his wife did or didn't have a soul. She was right. Either way she was the girl he fell in love with.

"So why does it make a difference whether I smash it or not?"

"If you do Spike's wish will be reversed and I wouldn't like that."

"Back with the Spike again. And what exactly did Deadboy Jnr wish that's so important?"

"Nothing much, just that you and someone else would be brave enough to follow their hearts."

"So you're saying that we're married because of Captain Peroxide?"

"No, we're married because we love each other. Spike just inadvertently gave you a hand making up your mind." 

Anya pulled the now empty champagne glass from Xander's hand and placed it alongside hers on the bedside table.

"And since we're married now it's time you gave me lots and lots of orgasms. We haven't had sex in over a month now so it should be really good."

Xander couldn't help but give a gentle laugh. "I love you, Anya."

"I love you too, sweetie." 

****

End of Chapter 9


	7. Ch10A Talking to Tinkerbell

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

__

Spike: Hey, it's not like I knew you were in there, and it was all just a little mistake. I didn't know you could hear my every thought, did I? How about I bake you some cookies? Em, no watcher, so I can't detail his car, but I could spring-clean the house? You know I didn't really mean what I said about staying with that Aussie bint over the summer. You know I wanted to come straight back to you, love. It's just I wanted some time to think about what to do. That Joss bloke, what gets all the credit for what I do 'cos he made me up… well, I wanted some time to try to work out all the ways he could make me screw things up. That way I might be able to avoid all his traps and do things right, well, at least make things better rather than worse… luv?

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

**** Chapter 10 – All's Well… (a. Talking to Tinkerbell) 

Spike slumped, dropping his head into his hands before he ran his fingers through his hair loosening the hold of his hair-gel and allowing a few stray curls to find their way loose. He straightened up with a visible effort.

"'Bit, d'you think you could get Glinda to come out here and have a chat? I think I've really cocked things up this time and I'm goin' to be eatin' a whole lot of humble pie and I'd rather not have Red puttin' in her twopenny worth. It's goin' to be bad enough anyway. Not that she's got any room to talk."

"So you know what's happening, then?"

Spike answered Dawn's inquiry. "Haven't exactly thought it all through, 'Bit, but it looks like it's something to do with a spell I tried earlier. Should be able to figure out what went wrong between me and Glinda and come up with a way to fix it." _'… or at least put Buffy back together again. Nothing's goin' t'put things right between me and her now. Should just have wished I didn't love her. That would have been easier. Saved yourself a boatload of hurt that way… but, then you'd end up dancin' the old dance with her and maybe without feelin's getting' in the way you'd end it. Would that-"_

"Spike? What's happened? Dawnie said you wanted to talk to me. Do you know what's wrong with Buffy?" Tara's voice was gentle and soothing as she prodded for the information she needed.

"Yeah, me… I'm what's wrong with her. Doesn't matter what I do, I just end up hurtin' her one way or another."

Spike sighed, and Tara couldn't help but think that the only time that she had seen him look so broken was the night that Buffy died.

"I haven't worked out exactly what I did but I cast a spell and I reckon that's when "she" went walkies, so I guess it is all my fault."

"It's okay, I'm sure we can fix this, Spike. Just tell me exactly what the spell was and what happened when you cast it."

"Well, would be before your time, but you must have heard about the spell that Red did where the Watcher went blind, and me and Buffy got engaged…" Spike's mind drifted off into wistful memories of that day. He should have known then he was on his way to falling in love with her. The sexual tension between the pair of them when she was feeding him had had the Watcher running for cover before the spell had even hit and when the spell ended he had felt like someone had stolen his life and given him some sort of inferior replacement.

"Spike? You mean you did a spell to have your will done… is that right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to hurt her. I don't… something's wrong. I mean I knew what happened with Red, and I thought I worked out all the stuff I wished real careful and then I thought I'd ended it so that I couldn't accidentally do anything like she did, but maybe it didn't end or …I don't know…"

"It's okay. We'll work it out. Let's start with the wishes you made deliberately. Just tell me what they were and then if we eliminate those we can look at the possibility that the spell's still active."

Spike looked over at Tara as if he were ashamed of himself. "You're going to hate me when I tell you. It's just I got to the end of my rope. I got to where I just couldn't bear for things to be like they are, but I guess what I did wasn't too far removed from what Red did to you. I just wasn't thinking straight enough to see it like that."

Ever gentle Tara prompted the vampire once more. "Spike, right here at this minute no-one is bothered about laying blame. All that's important right now is getting Buffy back. I know you love her. I saw what it did to you when she died. Just tell me so we can work out what to do to put it right. What was your first wish?"

"I wished that an empty bourbon bottle would fill up again, but that was sort of a practice run and I didn't really think it would work, 'cos I reckoned the way the spell was worded that there had to be some sort of passion involved. That you had to be angry or… well… you know… for anything to happen."

"So that didn't work?" 

Spike shook his head. "Next thing I wished was that Buffy would make up her mind exactly what it was that she really wanted."

"Well, sweetie, I can't see any harm that that could do. I don't think that caused the problem. What else did you wish?"

"I wished that she would be honest about her feelings. I could read her like a book when it was her an' Angel, but when it comes to her and me, either I've lost the knack completely or she's lying to me or she's lying to herself. So, I wished that she'd be honest about her feelings, to herself as well as to others."

Spike looked across at Tara expecting to see disapproval but instead all he saw was compassion. "I know. If she wants to lie to me I should just let her. I'm interfering with her brain, but, the stuff she's been saying lately, well, it hurts… and if I thought she really meant it, then I'd leave." _'…or dust m'self, one of the two.' _Spike added silently. "But that's what every guy in her life from her father on down's done, so I need to be sure that she really wants me gone, because if she's puttin' up some sort of front… If she's tryin' to push me away, because she thinks I'll eventually leave her so she'd rather make the break now and I take her at her word and go…

Honestly, I was hoping… well, you can probably guess what I was hoping, but trying to second guess everything she says, it's killing me and I just wanted to know where I stand."

"Spike, honey, I don't know what exactly the situation is between you and Buffy at the moment and I know since Buffy came back we haven't seen each other very often but if things have been that bad you know I'd be there if you needed someone to talk to. You know I'd miss you if you left and Dawn probably wouldn't take it too well either."

"S'nice of you to say that, but well, it's not like I really get to see 'Bit any more. Buffy doesn't approve of the two of us together. The last time I can think of seein' you was the birthday party that wouldn't end and I had to get an invite from Red for that. Buffy didn't even ask. Red's already shown tonight what she thinks I'm capable of and what's worse it looks like she's right. And since it looks like Anya's back with Harris I doubt I'll be visiting her again any time soon. Never been invited to his place in all the time he's had it, so I don't see why that would change now. There's Clem, but everybody likes Clem. He doesn't need me. Leave him the crypt and the telly. He'll be fine.

It all comes down to her in the end." 

__

'Stay or go. Live or die. Can't be a vampire, can't be a man. Only place I fit in this world is by her side. Together everything's in perfect balance. Without her… away from the Hellmouth… without the purpose that helping her gives… leave the Hellmouth and you'll be hard pushed to find a spot of non-human violence before bedtime…what reason's left to go on?

And maybe I would have talked to you before, pet, but vampires aren't allowed to spill their guts when things get to them. They're just meant to sit in their crypt like an anatomically correct Action Man in a toy box and wait till the slayer wants to play with them again.' The guilty feeling that Buffy had felt when she saw the downstairs room in his crypt was back and a hundred times worse.

"If that's really how you feel, then couldn't you talk things through without all the magic."

Spike sighed. "For one thing, she only ever hears what she wants to. For another she refuses to accept that I've changed. She accused me of a whole list of things the other day and, unless you include killing demons or cheatin' at kitten poker which isn't really cheatin' 'cos it's part of the game then the only one out of the lot of them I can remember doin' in the last year is nickin' a bit of burba weed and maybe a blood-bag or two from the hospital… Oops, nearly forgot, of course the nasty vampire nicked the bloody camper… And technically, I suppose the bike, but I prefer to call it the spoils of war.

Any time you try to get her to talk about her feelings she's off quicker than Concorde. Any time you try to tell her about your own feelings she either does something to stop you or she runs or she calls you a liar, and believe me, you don't ever want to ask her to explain something to you. …Any way I don't see that any of this is solving the zombie problem… 

The last thing I wished was that she would understand how I feel about her. She keeps saying that I don't have a soul so I don't have real feelings or they're real for me whatever the hell that means, so, I wished that she would really understand."

"And that was the last wish you made?"

"Yeah, after that, did a little rhyme, invoked the elements, basically saying "That's all folks" I've got what I want, so ignore everything else I say from now on."

"And after that there's nothing you can think of that might have set anything off, if ending the spell didn't work."

"Well, no. From what I understand you have to say the thing out loud. Didn't speak to anyone from then till Clem rang, except for a few off the cuff remarks to the odd demon on patrol, but that was after dark, so…"

"So, it looks like the spell decided the only way she'd really understand how you feel was if she was in there with you."

"In there with me? …you mean, she's here?" Spike held his hand up to his head, using the butt of his cigarette to point at his temple.

__

'Hey, look Slayer, what I was thinking before, well, that's just big thoughts. Might leave, if that's what you want, but, well, I thought about the other when Dru left and I'm still here, right, so don't you go feelin' sorry for the Big Bad. Don't want your pity. It hurts, but I'll get over it.' Spike frantically tried to cover his undead ass.

"In there and in there…" Tara touched her fingertips to his forehead and then to his heart. "And possibly even checking you out for muscle cramps."

__

'Good job I wasn't exactly in the mood for my normal early morning wank when I got up tonight then. Bugger. Why do I keep thinking of all the stuff I don't want her to know about?' Spike started counting from one thousand down to zero in his head in an effort to prevent any more secrets coming out.

__

'Because that's the way it goes as soon as you know Buffy's in here. At least I'm not going to find out you slept with Giles on the hood of a police car, or I hope not. You haven't right?' Buffy cringed mentally at the image she had conjured up.

Spike maintained his countdown as he spoke to the witch. "So what do we do to reverse it? Ehm… I was … ehm, well preoccupied with other things when Willow did it." His mind filled with the memory of tender passionate kisses and Buffy's body on top of his. 

"I think she just did the same sort of thing you did, but she reversed it at the same time as she ended it."

"So if I make up some bit of doggerel then that'll put her back in her body."

"It's worth giving it a try, don't you think?" Tara gave him an encouraging smile.

"Right then, here goes, pet…

The time for wishes now has passed

Undo the spell which I have cast."

Spike raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

"So mote it be?" He gave Tara a rueful smile. 

To be continued…


	8. Ch10B Back to Life

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Chapter 10 – All's Well… (b. Back to Life?)

"Do you want to go check on sleeping beauty? I think she's probably had enough of me for one day?" The vampire resumed his mental countdown just in case the spell hadn't been reversed.

"Sure. You'll hang around until we know whether it's worked?"

"Yeah, luv, I'm not goin' anywhere, just yet."

Spike lit another cigarette and moved round to the front of the house to lean against his "lurking tree". He looked up, able to make out Dawn, Willow and Tara in Buffy's room, but unable to see any sign of the slayer. The three women fussed around the bed for a while before Dawn left the room. Spike moved back to the porch steps in case she was bringing news.

"Hey." Dawn greeted the vampire.

"Hi, Bit. What's the news? Any signs of life?" 

"Yes… and no. Tara says her aura's back the way it should be, but she's not come round yet."

"Does that mean I've gone and lost a bit of her?"

"Probably not, Tara thinks it just taking everything a little while to adjust to being back together again."

"But you don't know for sure…" Spike threw away the remains of the cigarette in his hand, running the now free hand through his hair.

"Look, Spike, Tara told me about the spell, about what you wished for… and, well I think it's really cool. I mean, you could have wished that she'd fall in love with you. Or that she'd be your sex slave or that you'd get married, but you didn't. You just tried to get her to sort out what's going on between the two of you and, well, cool."

"If I'd done anything else, Nibblet, would have been rape. And besides I learned my lesson about second best with the 'bot. If I can't have the real thing I don't want it at all. If she just loved me because of some spell, I'd get to where I couldn't look at her. I'd always know that I wasn't man enough for her to love me without magic."

"She said she cares. We were talking about you just before that last wish hit, and she said she cared."

" Said much the same at the wedding, love, but it hasn't made a difference to what she's said or the things she's done since. I don't think a happy ending's on the cards for Spikey. If I could tell that heart of mine what to do I'd have made it wait a few years and fall for the more open-minded of the Summers women." 

Dawn adopted a teasing tone. "If I thought you could ever feel about me the way you feel about her, I could wait… except for the whole having slept with my sister, 'cos it would be really gross to think that you could, like… compare. So if we're lucky I reckon we call it quits at brother-in-law."

"The day I get to be called your brother-in-law is the day I become the happiest man in the world."

"Even if it was because I was getting married to one of Dru's offspring?" Dawn joked.

Spike shuddered. "Don't even mention possibilities like that when you're on the Hellmouth, pet."

The back door opened behind them. "She's up. She said for Dawnie to go on up if she wants to see her, but that she needs to take a shower." Dawn ducked past Tara and through the kitchen. "She said _you_ should wait down here. She's got a job for you when she's done, and she said if you want to try the tranquilliser gun it's in the old weapons chest in the basement, but that there's only a few darts left. Does that make sense to you?"

"Reckon it means we're going after Warren and his mates." Spike held the door open for Tara to go back in, and headed for the basement.

* * * * *

"So, are we goin' to talk about what just happened, or are you going to keep your season ticket for the land of denial?" Spike asked as the pair made their way down the front steps of Buffy's house.

"We're going to talk. We are _so_ going to talk, but not now, not till I've had some time to process everything through – okay? In the mean time leave your ice box alone."

Buffy made to walk off down the street, but Spike grabbed her elbow and pulled her back in the direction of his motorbike. He secured the rifle on what seemed to be a gun rack mounted on the side of the bike, which she supposed made sense considering how he got it.

"No point draggin' this out, luv. Just tell me where we're going." He swung his leg over the bike in a graceful movement, the duster settling into place behind him. He kicked the engine over and waited for Buffy to climb on behind him.

"Back to where the Glar Gluck Cash Manic or whatever you call it came from. I'll give you directions when we get closer. We think they might have set it on me because I was getting too close."

"Reasonable assumption, I suppose." Spike conceded.

"We also think they're the ones using the cameras."

Spike merely grunted in reply.

"Have you tried using the tranquilliser gun yet?" Buffy changed the subject.

"Pointed it at Dawn and the chip didn't go off. Haven't actually tried firing it at anyone yet, but we've got a slight advantage in that the guys seem to have bought into the Big Bad's reputation without ever hearing about what the chip does. They're a bit scared of me."

"You _know_ them?"

"It's not like I have them over for pizza and a movie. Who do you think built the 'bot. And when I found out I could hit you who was I meant to trust to check if the chip was working?"

"Well. Willow-"

"Willow would have been passing out stakes to Bob the Builder, two seconds after she found out I could hit you. Warren just did a scan, said he reckoned it was all working like it should do but I never told him what it did."

"But you knew where they were weeks ago… and you didn't say."

"Hey, since _you_ decided we weren't talking buddies the second you finished snogging me for the first time, it's hardly my fault I didn't know you were looking for them. If you hadn't stomped off with a bug up your ass every time I tried to speak to you they might not have moved on by the time I found out you wanted them. So don't plan on making it my fault."

Before Buffy could reply he revved up the engine on the big bike and drove off, effectively ending all conversation until they reached their destination. If she hadn't had slayer reactions she might well have been left sitting outside her house instead of clasping her arms firmly around the vampire's waist. Even she had to admit that huddled in against Spike on the back of a motorbike breathing in the scent of his coat and the lightest hint of cologne, was no bad place to be.

Spike took point as they investigated the basement, his better nightvision and hearing giving him a slight edge.

"There's no-one here. Only heartbeat's yours." Spike prowled the room looking for anything suspicious. Buffy followed on grabbing up anything with writing on or any sort of computer media. When he reached the far side of the room Spike caught the glint of something metallic he followed it back to the wall at one end and traced the other to the whiteboard.

"What ya got there?" asked the slayer as she observed his movements.

"Tripwire. I think we might want to leave the board alone, and watch your step; there might be more than one." He moved back to where the wire passed through the wall. "Can't smell any explosives, there's more of an oil and metal smell, like some sort of machinery but it's probably best not to take chances."

He scanned the room. Apart from a collection of pizza boxes the slayer seemed to have grabbed everything with any sort of writing on. "Got everything you want, pet."

"I think so."

"Then why don't we go take a look at what we've got. Magic Box or your place or mine?"

"Home, no point me being more of an absentee parent than I have to be."

Spike put the gun back on the rack and took some of the papers from the slayer's arms, rolling them up and putting them in his coat pockets until she was left with a couple of books and a few CD-ROMs which she tucked inside her jacket.

The journey home took no time at all and Buffy was surprised to find herself thinking that she could quite happily take off for an hour or two, now and again. If nothing else at least it kept the vamp quiet for a while.

By the time they got back to the house the rest of the occupants had all gone to bed. He followed her through to the dining room where she dropped the books and discs on the table. Spike started sorting out the papers into different piles, splitting them between technical and arcane and by language.

"Hot chocolate?"

Spike blinked in surprise. "You making some?"

"Wouldn't have offered otherwise," Buffy replied.

"Sure." Spike couldn't work out what was going on. Buffy hadn't been this friendly to him in… ever. He found himself humming under his breath as he sorted through the pages. Once he had put the pages into piles he pulled the books towards him. Resting the first on its spine he opened the covers slightly to see if it fell open at any particular section. When this failed he tried skimming through. Then he came across a passage that was highlighted in fluorescent pink.

He pulled the pile of English documents over and started looking through them. When he failed to find the translation he was looking for he got up and went through to the kitchen.

Buffy was just pouring the hot chocolate into a pair of mugs and he paused in the doorway till she'd finished before picking one up.

"Have you got a pad and a pen or a pencil handy?"

"I should be able to manage that for you. Is this so you can write down the number of that cell-phone of yours, or did you have something else in mind?" Buffy asked with an honest to goodness smile on her face.

"Both, I suppose… There's a passage in one of those books that someone has conveniently highlighted. Something about some race of demons living in some sort of sanctuary in the caves deep under Sunnyhell, but it's in Latin so it might take me a while to work it out."

Buffy led the way into the dining room and pulled a pad and a pen from one of the dresser drawers, putting them on the table in front of Spike.

"I didn't know you spoke Latin?"

"No reason to tell you, pet, as long as the watcher was around." Spike smirked at her.

"What did you do before you were turned? I wouldn't be surprised to find out you were a librarian, or some sort of academic type."

Spike let out a groan. "You were there, in my dream, weren't you?"

Buffy nodded, watching him over the rim of her mug.

"I guess you're not going to let me live this down?" asked the shame-faced vampire.

"There's nothing to live down. What you said was beautiful and if she couldn't see that, then that was her problem not yours, but now's not the time to go into this." Buffy looked at her watch. It was after four in the morning. 

"Why don't we finish our drinks and call it quits for the night?" she asked. "You can take that book away with you and I could give you a ring tomorrow and see how you're getting on with the translation. Let you know if we come up with anything here."

Spike wrote a phone number on the top sheet of the pad before ripping the page out and passing it over to her.

"And the other thing?" he prompted.

"Let's say I'm going to need a little patience, but the sooner we get things sorted out with Warren, Jonathon and… the other one, the sooner I'll be able to start making any decisions about my personal life. I know waiting isn't your strong suit, and I'm not making any promises about what my decision is going to be, but I think we _might_ be able to work something out."

"Do I get to give you a reminder of what it is that you're considering?" Spike put down his cup and took a step towards her, a wicked grin illuminating his face.

"No, you don't. You get to behave yourself like the gentleman you once were." Buffy held her arms straight out, trying to keep him at a distance. "Otherwise neither of us is going to get any sleep tonight without a cold shower, so back."

"In that case…" Spike took the fingers of Buffy's right hand in his own and pulled it towards him as he bent over, kissing her gently on her knuckles, "I shall take my leave and wish you sweet dreams."

"Aren't we supposed to be engaged before you get to take liberties like that."

"Well, if you insist." He started to pull off one of the rings he was wearing from his fingers.

Buffy laughed and bundled him toward the front door, pushing the book and the pad into his arms. "Shoo! Get out! I'll speak to you later today."

As she took the mugs back through to the kitchen to rinse them out she noticed the neatly folded guest sheets still sitting on the coffee table. She felt so happy for her friends, but at the same time jealousy was nibbling gently at her insides and she wondered if she could ever trust Spike enough to let herself fall in love with him, the way Willow and Tara loved each other. She felt that she knew him so much better than she had known him that morning but she still didn't know the answer to that question.

To be continued… 


	9. Ch10C Decisions and Dates

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Chapter 10 – All's Well… (c. Decisions and Dates)

Buffy tried to concentrate on the paperwork in front of her, but her mind was too preoccupied with the happenings of the previous day to really take in what she was reading. She looked over at the two Wiccans sitting across the table from her and was sure they were equally distracted. So far there was nothing on any of the pieces of paper to give them any clue as to their adversaries' next course of action.

Willow was about to start checking out the stuff on the computer disks. Buffy stifled a yawn and pushed aside the papers in front of her.

"Research hurts my brain. I think I'm going to go swing past Spike's crypt and see how he's getting on with that translation. I might go straight out on patrol afterwards. If you need me Spike's phone number is on the bit of paper in the front of the address book."

"Spike has a phone?" Willow asked amazed.

"Yeah. He's been holding out on us. Something about not being totally on a leash, except that wasn't quite how he put it...See you later. If Dawn's looking for something to do when she gets back from Janice's tell her to check round the house and the garden to make sure there aren't any more cameras."

Buffy grabbed the tranquilliser rifle from where it had been left in the hall, wrapping it in a blanket and bouncing down the steps to go to see a peroxide pest. 

* * * * *

Buffy hovered indecisively outside the crypt door, uncertain whether she could or should go through with what she had planned. She rapped her knuckles against the solid door and waited a few moments for a reply. The door swung slowly open in front of her, like the door of a horror-movie house and her steps faltered as she entered the mausoleum.

"Come on, slayer. You know I only bite when you want me to. Hurry up and get in so I can shut out Mr Sunshine." The familiar English accent sounded from behind the door.

Buffy shook her head, banishing the imaginary corpse lurking round the corner, and made do with moving out of the way so that the real walking, talking one could shut the door behind her.

"I brought a peace offering, sort of semi-permanent loan idea. I was thinking after you left last night and I figured, this way, the next time someone comes in making unfounded accusations you might at least have a chance to defend yourself." Buffy's voice was hesitant her gaze trained on the vampire's neck, knowing she would never get through this if she had to look into his eyes. 

She gently laid down the bundle containing the tranquilliser gun on top of the television. "I also wanted to apologise for not giving you a chance to explain about the eggs. I don't know if they were really what we were looking for or not, but even if they were I should have given you the chance to explain how you got them.

I'm sorry about that night in the alley. God, I'm so sorry." She stole a glance at his face, love puzzlement and concern clear from the tilt of his head and the luminosity of his ultramarine eyes as he moved toward her. "I just can't believe… I look back at the things I've done, at the way I've treated you and it's almost like a stranger did them. I just can't make… I thought I was this person. I was supposed to be some kind of hero, some sort of ideal but coming back there's been all this anger, and frustration and loneliness and helplessness and I've just lashed out at you. I've used you as a whipping boy for everything that's gone wrong since I've come back… and I'm just so sorry." 

She drew in a deep breath that was almost a sob and inhaled the fragrance of tobacco, copper and spices. Startled, she realised that she was almost resting against her former lover's chest and that his hands were running up and down her arms making soothing motions while he murmured soft phrases of comfort.

"And it's not just that. It's everything that every guy I've dated has ever done to hurt me. Every bad thing that's happened was just hanging over our heads like the Sword of Damocles because I couldn't accept that you were different."

She took a step backwards, pulling away from his caresses but looking into his eyes once more. "I just have so much I have to say and if I stay that close to you… my brain'll just give up."

"Would that be a bad thing, love?" She forced herself another step back as the ocean of emotions in his eyes threatened to pull her under.

"It would be, if we want things to be right between us, and I don't know if we _can_ make things right, and even if we manage to make things right that doesn't necessarily mean that we'll be together." Most of the words in her reply ran into one another as she rushed to still any premature hopes that the vampire might get.

"Can you forgive me for all the things I've done and said?"

"Love, they were forgiven without you even having to ask." She nodded her head gently and his eyes were drawn to where she held her lower lip between her teeth.

"Okay, here's a question and I need you to _really_ think it through before you answer." She caught and held his gaze. "You always talk about how we're both creatures of darkness. You say that I belong in the dark with you. What happens if I can't accept that? If I don't like the person I can feel myself becoming? What happens if I ask you to come down off the balcony and be with me on the dance-floor?"

She could see him resist the urge to answer the second she finished. Instead he let a few seconds pass before he replied.

"Buffy, you've been inside me, you've felt what I feel. Don't you know I'd do whatever it takes to be with you."

"Spike, I know you'd die for me, I'm prepared to believe you would die without me. I'm asking something of you that's going to be far harder. If there's going to be a chance for us to be together you are going to have to live a life that goes even more against your nature than how you're living now.

I don't even know exactly how you get the money you spend, so I don't know if you could even afford your blood out of what you make honestly, never mind cigarettes, alcohol or anything else, but that's what I would need for you to do, even if it meant getting a job."

"How am I supposed to watch your back on patrol if I'm stuck behind a bar somewhere or something?"

"You can't. But how can I even try to break Dawn of her bad habits if I'm condoning the same habits in you. You need to be purer than the driven snow. I need to be able to tell myself and anybody else who thinks they're going to mouth off about my taste in men, that, yeah, Spike was everything you say, but he changed… right down to stealing power and cable." She glanced over at the television where Passions played on, totally unheeded by the vampire who had put it on.

"You've been thinking about this real hard, haven't you, pet?"

"Yeah, and I know the little things are almost so stupid they're hardly worth the effort, but the thing is, I want to trust you but it's really hard. All my slayer instincts say that I shouldn't but if you give me a basis to build that trust on, then I'll try my best to ignore what those instincts tell me, but if you tell me you'll do this and then I catch you out in something, that's it. If there ever comes a point where you prove that I can't trust you, if you even so much as shoplift a can of coke, then we part ways."

"And if in theory I agree to all this where do we go from there?"

"Well, we try to go back to being friends like we were before we kissed. We go back to patrolling together, when it's mutually convenient. We get motorbike rides, videos and pizza, and I get someone else's cooking if I'm working late. We date. Out in the open not hiding it from people, but don't count on us being alone much because I can't cut back on my time with Dawn. 

Dawn is my responsibility. You want to be a big brother figure, fine, but I'm the parent. I get to have the final word… but I'm open to advice.

We can spar in the training room at the Magic Box, but outside of that we never hit each other again. Dawn never sees another bruise on either of us that was intentionally caused by the other. The handcuffs and all your other toys stay here, but the only time I'll be spending the night is when Dawn isn't at home. You can stay nights at the house, maybe a couple of times a week, but no more than that because I don't want trouble with Social Services-"

Buffy's exposition was halted by Spike's finger on her lips. 

"I think I've got the general idea, love, you can draw up a list of do's and don'ts later. You know what my answer's going to be."

"I could make an informed guess."

"So is it okay to kiss you yet, or do I have to disconnect the electricity and the cable feed first?"

Buffy pretended to give this due consideration. "I think if you get rid of the cable feed I can take that as a gesture of good faith and let you off on the electricity until you can get yourself a generator or something. I wouldn't want your blood or your eggs to go off, if that seems fair to you?"

Spike opened the coffin he used as a weapons chest and drew out an axe. Striding to the far side of the room he brought it down on the aerial cable for the TV. "You'll have to wait till after dark if you want to make sure I take the dish down…but I'm sure I could keep you entertained if you want to wait."

Spike dropped the axe on the floor behind him and came over to take Buffy's shoulders in a gentle grip.

"I'm sure you could but Dawn'll be getting back from Janice's soon. I could justify hanging out here till it's time to patrol if you had lots of interesting translations for me to read but since you've been watching tacky soap operas… which are still running. Why's your TV still playing Passions if you just cut the cable?"

"Because, it's on video, because I was at The Magic Box checking up on some background to that passage I translated when it aired. Course, if you want to know what I found out, I'm still waiting for that kiss."

"Blackmai-" Buffy's accusation was cut off in surprise as Spike's lips gently brushed against her own. Her arms wound their way around his neck and she stood balanced on the toes of her left foot her right foot instinctively raised a few inches off the floor. She had been expecting a bruising forceful assault and was blind-sided by his gentle caresses grazing against her hypersensitive skin. Her body came to rest against his and she strained upward to deepen the kiss. His tongue made it's way behind her parted lips tracing a slow trail along her gum-line before stroking softly against her own. The kiss had none of the urgency of their normal interactions. It was slow, sensuous and tantalising and it held the promise of lovemaking that would take hours to reach its peak.

Buffy's eyes flicked open as he pulled his head back, her cheeks flushed and her pupils dilated. She drank in the stark alabaster planes and angles of her lover's jaw and cheekbones before she registered the contented glow she had never seen before in his cobalt eyes. Aware of her gaze his lips curved gently upward.

"You haven't lost interest in what our friends have been reading up on, have you? Not after me staying up half last night working on it?"

She shook her head to clear the lassitude engendered by his efforts. "No, I just got a little distracted. Do tell."

Spike led her over to the "comfy" chair and once he was seated he pulled her into his lap so that her back rested against one chair arm and her knees hung over the other. As he spoke one hand played idly with her hair whilst the fingers of his other had traced soft patterns on the fabric of her jeans.

"It looks like Warren and his mates have decided to become the Sunnydale equivalent of Indiana Jones…" Spike explained to Buffy about the Nezzla demons who lived in some of the deepest caves under Sunnydale and the magical treasure which they guarded.

When he had finished there was still an hour or so to go before sundown and Buffy looked regretfully at the daylight filtering through the crypt's windows. "I should go back and see Dawn's okay before I come back out on patrol."

"But you don't want to…" Spike finished for her in a soft voice.

Buffy shook her head.

"Well, how about this for a different idea. You go home, see little sis, make sure she's done all her homework. If she has I'll come over and escort you both to the Bronze. We can always patrol once the Niblet's safely tucked up in bed and it seems to me we've got reason to celebrate. You could always ask the Wiccas as well if you want, if they don't want to take advantage of having the house to themselves, that is… does that sound better?"

"You mean like a date?"

"Well, sort of like a date with an extra woman or three."

"Way to pander to your ego, walk in the Bronze with four women on your arm…"

"And every one a looker, too." Spike replied with a smug smirk.

"You're on. Give me that phone that you've been hiding."

Spike pushed Buffy up off his lap and retrieved the phone from the corner near the refrigerator where it was charging and threw it to Buffy. "Just press down the number two key and hold it for a while."

"Hey, Will, it's me. Has Dawn come home yet? …Do you know if she's finished all her homework? …Let me know if she finds any… Look, the reason I ask is that we've all been invited out for the evening… To quote a wise man there is no good time to have fun on the Hellmouth… No, don't worry about it. He said it was like a date but with three extra women. That means he gets to pay for all of us, doesn't it." Spike rolled his eyes when he realised what he'd been suckered into. Buffy covered the bottom half of the receiver and whispered, "that is okay isn't it?"

Spike couldn't help himself. She had a sparkle in her eye. "As long as you don't plan on drinking a bottle and a half of tequila each it should be fine." He settled back into the chair and Buffy perched in his lap again.

"Okay, Will, I'll be back in half-, make that three-quarters of an hour and tell Dawn if she wants to use the shower to do it now before I get back." Buffy flipped the phone shut and passed it back to Spike. "Dawn has apparently been going round her room and the bathroom with a fine-toothed comb to check for cameras in case The Nerd Herd have been watching her when she's not dressed."

"They're dead men if she finds any."

"True, but you won't be the one dealing with them, Chip Boy." Buffy's tone softened when she saw his expression. "It's hard for you to rely on someone else to look after your womenfolk, isn't it?"

"Hey, Victorian male here, what do you think?"

"I think compared with when Will did her will be done spell you've made definite progress. It's part of what makes me want this to work. You're the only guy that I know who lets me be whatever I need to be rather than trying to make me fit with their perception of who I am.

Riley never got it. No, that's unfair, maybe he did, but he couldn't be who I needed him to be.

With Angel it was like he was always protecting me, except when he was stalking me, even when he left he said it was to protect me. I was such the little schoolgirl when we were together. Angel would never be able to cope with who I am now. He had to play the hero. I think that's why he never used to show up except with dire warnings of impending doom."

She brought a hand up to brush his cheek, turning his head slightly so she could stare him straight in the eye.

"You know I'm counting on you to be the long-haul guy, don't you?"

"I had hoped that was the point of the exercise this afternoon, love, but I must admit I don't quite get why. I was expecting you to come after me full of piss and vinegar and tell me to get out of your town when the spell went wrong like that." Spike voiced what had been troubling him earlier.

"And I might have done if it wasn't for what I saw and felt when I was inside your head. I got to see myself through your eyes and I didn't like all that much of what I saw. And I got to see how crazy you are; that even when this total bitch treats you like I don't know what, all you do is love her with all your heart regardless.

You wished that I would work out what it was that I really wanted. I think at the time it was an iced mint mocha, but once I really saw inside you I knew that what I wanted was to be able to trust you enough to love you back."

"Trust's for old-marrieds, pet."

"No, Will, trust's what carries people through from where we are now to being old-marrieds."

"That's a new one, pet."

"I thought I'd try it on for size. William seems a bit stuffy and dated and Spike just didn't seem right and you're definitely not a Bill or a Billy. Besides, if I called you Billy people would think it was a joke about the hair. You don't mind do you?"

"Definitely better than the last time you called me William. Call me anything you want, love."

"Well, aside from potential confusion when Willow's around, I think I like it, of course it's not quite as catchy-." Buffy was interrupted by the ring of Spike's phone.

"I knew giving the number to you women was a bad idea." Spike checked the caller ID and passed the phone over to Buffy without answering it. "It just flips open, love."

"Bloody residence. Buffy Summers speaking… Yeah, no problem, I'll let him know… Poor Xander." Buffy closed the phone and passed it back to Spike before explaining.

"It looks like we're set to be a party of seven tonight. Xander rang up about all the messages we left the other night, said that he wanted to come over, that he had an announcement to make. So Will told him we were all going to the Bronze and could he meet us there instead. Little does he know that we all know what his announcement's going to be before we get there."

"Much as it pains me to say it we could-." Spike's phone rang again, but this time when he checked the caller ID he took the call himself.

"Yes, pet… I should be able to manage that… yeah, see you later then. Bye, kitten." Spike closed the phone again and continued as if the phone conversation had never happened.

"…pretend that we didn't know. Well, except for the fact that I'm a terrible liar."

"I'd never have guessed, I take it that was Anya."

"Yeah."

"So, how is it she got your phone number and I didn't?"

"Because she was alone. She needed someone she could turn to if anything went wrong, or if she had a bad day."

Buffy remembered the protective feelings he had harboured for the woman the previous day. "You really are quite a possessive little vamp."

"Less of the little, pet, or I'll have to make you eat your words, but possessive? You bet, and jealous too but I figure now everything's official that I can be a bit more laid back. I might even manage to be civilised if you dance with other men tonight, as long as their hands don't go anywhere they shouldn't."

"I'm so glad you aren't planning on threatening to eat anyone tonight… and besides I'm rather fond of the compact packaging. I like being able to look you in the face rather than end up staring at your nipples, which isn't to say that your chest isn't… I better go." She made no move to extricate herself from the vampire's lap.

"Do you want me to bring the car tonight or would you prefer to walk."

"It looks like it should be a nice night. Let's walk. Besides it would take hours to clean it out so that anyone could sit in the back seat."

"Check. Clean out car before taking Buffy to Make Out Point."

"You are incorrigible… except you haven't really been that way at all today."

"That would be because I don't want you to fall back into thinking this is all about sex. Sure, if that was all that was on offer I'd take it, but incredible as it was, it couldn't make up for what was missing. I think I tried to tell you that once."

"So is this your way of saying you plan to withhold sex?"

"Why don't you invite me back to your place after patrol when neither of us have to rush off anywhere and see?"

"Because I have a better plan." Buffy gave a teasing smile.

"And what plan's this, love?"

"I invite you back to my place instead of patrol."

"Much better plan." Spike's smile widened into a grin, a very smug, contented grin that Buffy just had to kiss right off his face.

* * * * *

Now that the moment was finally here Spike suddenly felt like an ancient teenager. He tried to remember the last time he had picked someone up for a date and found that he couldn't actually remember ever having done so. He juggled the flowers he was carrying to check his hair and pop a mint in his mouth. Refusing to prevaricate any further, he rang the doorbell.

He heard the clatter of teenage feet on the stairs and then the door was pulled open by the younger Summers sister.

"She's nearly ready, but she's got to make an entrance," Dawn bubbled before taking the time to give him the once over. "Not bad… not bad at all. You should wear that colour more often… You'll do."

Spike had basically gone with the new boots and jeans he'd bought for the aborted wedding but he'd teamed them with a silk shirt in a deep violet-blue and foregone his normal black T-shirt underneath. Here and there a glint of silver jewellery set off the look.

"Here," Spike pulled a bunch of purple freesias from the midst of the other flowers in his arms. "These are for you."

Half-laughing, Dawn took them. "What did you do? Buy a bunch for all of us."

"Well, yeah. Didn't seem right getting some for Buffy and nothing for the rest of you if I'm supposed to be taking all of you out." Spike was a bit embarrassed now and wondering if the flowers had been a good idea after all.

"I can't believe Buffy suckered you into paying for everything. You do know that you're totally whipped, don't you?"

"Totally, utterly and completely and not ashamed to admit it."

"Okay, I'm going to go get a vase and put these in my room. Then I'll see if Willow and Tara have finished playing with their overgrown Barbie." She wandered in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Spike standing alone in the hall. Thanks to his better than average hearing he caught the bit she muttered under her breath as she left the living room. "As if he would care if she came downstairs in sack-cloth and ashes." 

Less than five minutes later she was passing through the hall again on her way upstairs. "I would ask if you wanted to sit down," she said, " but I'm pretty certain you're supposed to be around for the full dramatic effect of the walk downstairs. I'll try to speed her up though."

"Don't worry, pet, I've waited more than a year. I think I can manage to wait a few more minutes." He said to her retreating back. He decided to have another mint and if she hadn't come down by the time he finished that he was going out on the front porch for a quick fag. What was taking the bint so long? He never used to take this long to get Dru dressed or at least he didn't think he did.

He was almost about to go outside when Willow and Tara came down the stairs hand in hand. "Hey, Spike," Tara greeted him softly. 

"Ladies," Spike responded with a nod in their direction, passing each of them a bunch of roses, white for Tara and a peachy shade for Willow. "Sorry they're a bit… but I couldn't get to a florist. Had to make do with the selection from the garage." He shrugged apologetically.

"They're lovely. It's the thought that counts anyway." Tara smiled at him in that way that made you realise she really was beautiful. Willow gave him a soft smile and mouthed the words "Thank you."

Before they got any farther Dawn came rushing downstairs at breakneck speed. "I'll take those and stick them in a bucket till we get back. Buffy's coming down." She took the flowers from the two witches and rushed through to the kitchen with them, eager to get back in time to see Spike's face when her sister appeared.

Buffy appeared on the stairs, moving down them slowly, which Spike decided was just as well since it gave him time to recover. Feathery tendrils of hair framed her face apparently bare of make-up except for dark mascara outlining her green brown eyes and crimson lipstick. Around her neck she wore the same black choker with a pink-red rose that she'd worn at her birthday party and her halter-top was the same colour as the flower. For only the second time that Spike could remember since she came back, she wore a skirt instead of trousers, this one calf-length and black. It was full enough to allow her total freedom of movement if she needed it but so lightweight that it swirled and moved against her legs as she walked. Black suede boots with a three-inch heel showed beneath the hem of the skirt and over her arm she carried her long black leather coat.

Spike instinctively moved to take her coat so that he could hold it for her to put it on and then he realised he still held her flowers in his hand. Glad that he didn't have any circulation to give him away with a blush he held out the bouquet toward Buffy, who took it from him, smiling teasingly at him as she questioned, "Cat got your tongue?" Then her expression turned puzzled. "Don't think I want to know where that expression comes from."

"You look beautiful, love, as always." Spike managed in a husky tone, glad that he'd left his shirt loose over the top of his jeans. He cleared his throat and continued. "I don't know what time you're all meant to be meeting Harris but I think if we don't get those flowers in the bucket with Willow's and Tara's I'm going to be late for a meeting with a vengeance demon. So, assuming you ladies all want me in one piece, I think we should get moving."

Dawn rescued the last of the flowers and Spike held out Buffy's coat for her in a gesture rarely seen these days outside of restaurants and hairdressers. Soon the group were on the move, Willow and Tara walking in front, Spike and Buffy ten or fifteen feet behind with Dawn rushing back and forward between them every few minutes like an over-excited puppy. Every so often when Dawn was up ahead with the Wiccas, Spike would claim a kiss from the apparently happy slayer, then the two would have to speed up to avoid trailing too far behind. 

The whole thing seemed surreal. On Friday night he'd been commiserating with Anya over the state of both their love lives. Now come Sunday, he was with Buffy on his way to congratulate Anya on her wedding. He could still congratulate her on getting what she wanted, even if that was Harris, couldn't he? Most surreal of all was the feel of Buffy's tiny fingers intertwined with his. 

To be continued…


	10. Ch10D The Gang's All Here

****

Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

*** This is the same as what was posted yesterday, but since it seemed to disappear off the main list at least for a time and since there are no more chapters I thought I better post it again in case people missed it. Since the review system doesn't seem to be working, if you want a smutty follow up then e-mail Sandy.Osborne@blueyonder.co.uk** and put in SWBD as the subject, don't even need to put any text in for the e-mail itself unless you want to, but it would be nice to know that someone would read it. I just can't seem to get started without that little bit of encouragement and I finished this on the 7th*****

Dedication: For Jamie who asked if I could finish this before her/his internet is cut off on the 20th.

Chapter 10 – All's Well… (d. The Gang's All Here)

Anya was keeping watch for the arrival of the rest of the Scoobies when she saw Warren, Andrew and Jonathon come into the Bronze. Xander was sitting with his back to them, for the minute unaware of their presence. In the interest of cutting down on any injuries that might have a detrimental effect on her sex life, Anya decided not to say anything unless they looked like they were going to cause trouble or leave.

"Xander, how soon are you expecting Buffy to get here. I know you said meet at eight and it's five past now, but when do you think she'll actually walk through the door?"

"Ahn, she'll get here when she gets here. She probably just had a problem getting her hair to sit right or something. She'll be here soon and if she isn't it'll be for a good reason, like she's run into the Nerd Herd or something."

"Not really the most likely reason for her being late at the minute."

"Huh?" Seeing his wife's expression he glanced over his shoulder in the direction of her gaze.

Warren looked as if he was picking a fight with a guy the best part of a foot taller than him. Two guys who looked like they could play on the same football or basketball team as Warren's target moved up behind him.

"It looks like we might not need Buffy after all, hon." Then he spotted Andrew and Jonathon by the bar. "…But, I think I'll just go watch the door and make sure we don't have any unscheduled departures."

Warren's voice could be heard over the music in the bar now. "You heard me, meathead. Take a walk. Warren started to turn toward the jock's girlfriend ignoring him and his friends. 

The jock shouted a threat in response before trying to yank Warren away from his girlfriend, but however hard he tried Warren didn't move a fraction of an inch.

"This isn't high school." Warren landed a blow on the youth's chest using the palm of his hand and the jock flew backwards across the room landing in a heap at least ten feet away. Xander watched bemused until he realised what was happening. Warren had obviously built a robot which looked like him, so that it could come here and create an alibi while he was off on some nefarious mission, but were Jonathon and the other one robots too?

"Only one way to find out." Xander walked up behind Jonathon and tapped him on the shoulder. When the diminutive geek turned round Xander sucker-punched him square in the jaw. Jonathon folded quicker than the machinery at a commercial laundry, leaving Xander facing a very nervous Andrew who was holding onto his cocktail glass with both hands.

"Hey, you're not just meant to hit us like that. You're meant to be one of the good guys."

"You know that would have bothered me too, if it weren't for the fact that you kidnapped one of my best friends and turned the other one invisible before you tried to frame her for murder and finally poison her. Now, I just don't give a damn." 

Xander hauled his arm back to deliver the killer blow on the blonde he felt his elbow being squeezed in a vice-like grip. Then a familiar English accent made itself heard.

"You really should let him go. It would be awfully bad manners to damage the groom before the honeymoon's over."

"Yeah," cut in Buffy, "and you don't want to make the bride angry."

Xander felt the grip on his arm loosen and turned to see Warren standing between Spike and the slayer. Deciding that the robot was in for an ass-kicking Xander turned to resume his discussion with Andrew only to find he was making a hasty retreat towards the door. Or he was, until Dawn kicked him in that place where Spike had trained her to kick any guy who was doing something she didn't like. She definitely didn't like the idea of him getting away.

"Slayer," Warren turned to face Buffy turning his back on Spike in the process, "fancy meeting you here and all prettied up in your party clothes."

Spike grasped the collar of Warren's jacket in both hands. "You too," he replied, "but brown just isn't your colour…" He yanked his hands apart, ripping the jacket off the head geek's back in shreds as the material was caught in a tug of war between two beings with superhuman strength. "…Or anybody's colour for that matter."

Buffy was quick to take advantage of the distraction caused by Warren's unwilling strip tease, landing a forward kick to his jaw and following up with a palm strike to his nose and an elbow strike near his eye. "You know, Spike, just because brown's a bit pedestrian doesn't mean it doesn't suit some people." The pair continued to circle around the geek using fluid motions practised and honed over months of patrolling.

"You think so, pet? Oscar Wilde said, "One should be a work of art, or wear a work of art." Warren here, just doesn't qualify on either count. I can't help thinking that he must have no self-image at all to want to dress up to look like a three-week old turd… But that's just my opinion." Staying at Warren's back, Spike drew something from his pocket and Buffy heard the click as a slim narrow blade clicked into position ready for use. 

She smiled, knowing Spike had found what he was looking for. "Okay, you're right, but now you made it so we can see more of the shirt. Can we say lost in the seventies? Or is it more sixties? Your call, Spike, you were there." Buffy feinted with a palm strike and then brought her leg arcing round in a graceful roundhouse connecting with her opponent's temple. 

"Is that all you've got, slayer? And what's with the fashion commentary?" Warren didn't even have to steady himself, he just continued to turn to face Buffy's attacks. He seemed to think he was immune to anything Spike or anyone else might do. He just kept watching for an opportunity to go on the offensive, finally trying to land a punch on the slayer, but she twisted to one side letting it go past with minimal effort. 

"I'd say seventies, love." Spikes left hand moved across from right to left in a horizontal slashing move and Buffy caught the glint of metal in his hand at the end of the stroke before the blade retracted back into the handle. His right hand grabbed at the middle of Warren's back pushing him forward. As he began to overbalance the geek reached behind his back and Buffy stepped to one side so that as he fell over next to her she could grab the hand dislocating his shoulder as he fell the rest of the way to the floor. Xander missed that part though because he was too busy watching the lilac glow that briefly flared from Spike's eyes.

The vampire wasted no time forcing the nerd to admit defeat. "You managing okay there, Warren? It must hurt like hell to go back to being you when for ten minutes you actually had a pair."

"Warren's not a robot?" Xander asked confusedly. Anya appeared next to her spouse. "Are you okay, sugar bun."

"No…" answered Buffy. "Warren's not a robot, and Spike can we find out where the others are before you do the gloating?"

"I got one." Dawn's voice carried across the room and she pointed down to where Andrew was still writhing on the floor in agony. Her sister glared at her, obviously displeased at her participation in events. "Wha-a-t? He's just a geek. Even I can take out a geek. It's not like he's dangerous or anything."

"Jonathon's over here." Xander indicated the form slumped at his feet.

"Buffy?" The slayer turned to see what was troubling the vampire. "Now that we actually have these guys here what exactly are we planning on doing with them?"

Frustrated, the slayer stamped her foot. "I don't know. I wish the police would just turn up with all the evidence they need to convict them of everything they've done, but so far they're oblivious and I don't know what we can do about them. Maybe those guys could press assault charges…"

"Doubt it, pet. They're never going to stand up in court and admit to being thrown round the room by someone that much smaller than them."

Xander, reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out what he found there. "Just this once, Ahn." He pressed it into her hand.

Anya made her way to the ladies toilets and locked herself in an empty cubicle. She looked down at her necklace and put it on. "Done," she said. For an instant her face changed and then she took the necklace back off, returning to her husband's side and slipping it back into his pocket.

Buffy and Spike were still arguing about what to do with the three of them, Spike being in favour of Buffy pounding them into enough of a pulp that they wouldn't dare try anything in her town ever again. Since Buffy didn't really go along with that plan, the argument was fairly pointless. Dawn, meanwhile, was making sure that Andrew wasn't faking his disability using the simple expedient of administering further forceful kicks every couple of minutes. Jonathon still didn't seem to have come to but Xander was keeping a watch on him just in case, while Tara and Willow did the same for Warren.

This was the point where a dozen police came through the door brandishing arrest warrants.

* * * * *

"Catch!" Xander caught the leather pouch Spike threw at him as if it were a bomb.

"Call it a wedding present," the vampire added.

"What, how, what, why?"

"What is it? The orbs of Nezzla Khan. How did we know you were married? Tara did a location spell when you both disappeared. Once we knew you were both in Vegas the rest was pretty easy to work out. What do they do? They're what made Warren super strong and why give them to you? 'Cos I reckon it must be pretty hard to be the only guy around who hasn't got some sort of edge. And because they might help keep you alive and healthy and I've got at least one friend who has a vested interest in making sure you stay that way." He smiled at Anya who grinned happily back.

"So you knew Warren was human but you still got in a fight with him? You drew a knife on him? You would be locked up too if it wasn't for the discretionary blindness of the population of Sunnydale."

"Yeah, that's the risks you have to take."

"Your chip could have gone off."

"There was never any intention to hurt him, just strip him down till we could get at his balls. The only way it would go off was if I hurt him by accident and those things might make you strong but they won't make you quick and they don't give you any fighting ability. If you're slow and your two opponents are quicker and they're trained and you're not... Besides I'm not sure someone using them would still detect as human."

"Just the same they could have thrown your ass in jail, south facing window…"

"They'd have to catch me and hold me first."

"Between twelve of them when you can't hurt them. I wouldn't be betting on those odds."

"In that case I'll make it real simple for you. Until we got those orbs off him, Buffy was potentially out-classed. She needed back-up, so I was there. As far as consequences go, I don't give a shit. Every time she needs help and I can help I will be there."

"Hey," the slayer interrupted before the bickering could turn into a fully-fledged argument. "You don't have time to argue," she told the vampire. "You've got four thirsty women waiting for you to buy them a drink and then I seem to recall a promise involving the dance-floor."

"You're wish is my command." Spike turned to Anya. "Congratulations, kitten. I'm happy that you're happy."

"Did Buffy just ask Evil Dead to dance?"

"She just asked Spike or more correctly reminded him of a previous promise, but it looks to me from the way they're holding hands like she's decided he's not evil any more."

"What? Not again, she can't make us go through that again."

"Xander, she was the other half of Spike's wish. If they're together now, it's because she's following her heart. Can you sit here the day after we got married and say that you would deny your best friend the same opportunity you got? She might be making a mistake. Personally, I don't think so, but either way it isn't your place to interfere. It's her choice and she knows him better than you do. You only have to see them fight together to know that. They fight like it's a dance or like they can read each others minds. Trust her, Xander. If you try to interfere, the relationship that will suffer most is the friendship between you and her. I know. I've seen these sort of cases. I remember, one time back in the 1600's…"

****

End 

There may be an epilogue, one with an NC-17 rating… if you review to say you want it.


	11. Epilogue

****

Spike's Will's Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with them. Unfortunately, this is all in my head, and not literally, but it keeps me amused anyway and hopefully at least a few other people as well.

****

Feedback: Yes, please. If the site doesn't have a review function, then you can e-mail direct at Sandy.Osborne@blueyonder.co.uk 

**** __

Sunday Late Evening

Spike and Buffy made their way over to the prime table where the rest of the Scoobies were waiting. It had been occupied by a group of teenage boys until recently, but for some reason when they saw Dawn heading in their direction they had all decided to move. It would be cynical to say this was because they were watching when Dawn prevented Andrew's escape by rearranging his genitalia with her foot, repeatedly. Cynical but not entirely inaccurate. 

Spike deposited the two pitchers he was carrying in one hand onto the table and then passed the large glass adorned with umbrellas, straws and twizzle sticks whose contents looked suspiciously like orange juice from his right hand to Dawn. Then he fell into the last armchair at the table and shrugged off his coat. Buffy put down the armful of margarita glasses that she had been carrying and turned to pout at the vampire. He responded by pulling her into his lap, easing her arms out of her coat and planting several playful kisses on her mouth.

Tara took on the job of pouring out the drinks. Willow flinched when she asked who wanted strawberry, but Rack was soon forgotten when Tara smiled at her as she passed her the first glass from the pitcher of lime margarita. Meanwhile, Xander stared aghast at the couple opposite for several seconds. Throwing himself upward out of his chair, he pointed at the pair shouting. "Déja vu! It's a spell. It's exactly the same as when Willow did her will spell except Giles isn't blind, we're in the Bronze instead of Giles' flat and I've only got one possible demon, we're not sure. But other than that it's exactly the same. I knew it wasn't natural." He looked over in Willow's direction, opened his mouth, had second thoughts and then looked at Tara instead. "Did you do that will spell?"

Tara looked over to where Spike was obviously listening to all this but not letting it distract him from Buffy, who gave no hint that she was aware of being discussed. "Actually, Spike _did_ do the will be done spell." Xander launched himself toward the couple, but was tripped by his bride en route. "… But he reversed it last night." Xander looked backwards and forwards between Tara and Anya. Spike paused just long enough to smirk at the carpenter sitting on the floor before going back to nibbling at Buffy's lower lip. "Then how…" Xander's query came out almost as a whine.

Tara smiled. "He wished that Buffy would understand how he feels about her. Looks like she approves." She passed a glass of strawberry margarita to him across the table, pouring another for Buffy and lastly a lime one for Spike.

"See, cookie-face," Anya bent forward to speak to him. "I told you not to interfere. Now, sit back in your chair. You can't stay on the floor all night,"

Spike looked around the table. Seeing that everyone now had a drink he picked his up off the table. "Once Harris is back in a chair, I'd like to propose a toast…" Xander rather self-consciously returned to his seat. "To happy couples and second chances."

"Happy couples and second chances" chorused the rest of the group as the glasses all clinked together. Buffy and Spike watched each other as they took their first sip. Willow and Tara looked into each other's eyes. Anya watched Xander watch Buffy and Spike and then she kicked him in the shin. "Not your business!" she somehow managed to hiss at him without removing the smile from her face. Dawn looked round the table at all her friends back together, only Giles missing. She smirked when she saw Xander turn his attention back to Anya. _"Round one to the vengeance demon,"_ she thought.

"Hey, tequila tastes far better mixed in with this strawberry stuff. How come you didn't tell me 'bout this stuff that night you were playing poker?" Buffy teased Spike.

"I don't think Dave could really run to mixing up margaritas, love." Spike placed a kiss on the end of Buffy's nose. "Besides, I wouldn't have got to see your liquor face, and that…" Another kiss on her forehead. "…Is just _so_ cute." 

He finally claimed her mouth in a deep kiss that lasted until Dawn let out a screech. "You guys get a room." 

Spike looked up, eyeing Dawn over the top of her sister's head. "Okay, Bit. We'll give it a break." He gave her a rueful lop-sided smile. Buffy moved so that instead of sitting across his lap, she now sat facing in the same direction as he was, her arm around his shoulders.

"So, Anya, what did Xander do to get you to the altar then?" Buffy tried to start a conversation within the group.

"He asked. And this time I stayed right there with him… from the point when he asked, right up to the point where he said I do, except when I got the dress." Anya replied. 

Spike literally bit his tongue to stop himself from making a comment about not giving Xander the chance to run this time. He knew the malice behind Xander's continual bickering could prove a major stumbling block to his relationship with Buffy. He was often seen as being to blame for the confrontations between the pair but nine times out of ten it was the younger men who instigated them. There was no way he was going to cast a pall over the evening by starting anything tonight.

Now that Buffy had set the ball rolling it seemed like all the others wanted to know something about the chapel, the service, the dress, the rings or something. However, the details of someone else's wedding weren't of any real interest to Spike, even if it was slightly amusing that Anya point-blank refused to include the word obey in her vows.

He devoted just enough of his attention to the conversation to ensure he knew what was being said, concentrating instead on how Buffy's fingertips were tracing the outline of his deltoid muscle through the fine silk of his shirt. His own hand rested on Buffy's back, which was left open to his touch by the halter-top she wore, his digits tracing random soothing patterns on her skin. He knew "coming out" was stressful for her. Thankfully, Demon-Girl seemed to be keeping Harris from making too big a fool of himself about the whole thing, so far, but the night was still young.

The band reached the end of their first set and Spike smiled when he recognised the ballad the DJ put on. He removed Buffy's empty glass from her hand, placing it on the table. "I think they're playing our song, love." 

"We have a song?" Buffy was first incredulous, then, when she recognised the voice of Michelle Branch, she too smiled. "We have a song," she said softly as she stood and took Spike's hand to lead him to the dance-floor. 

"'Leap of faith', huh?" she asked softly. She looked up into his face and melted when she saw the half-smile there, and the love and happiness that gave light to his lapis-blue eyes.

"Well, I'm hoping that 'Goodbye to you' in't ever going to be appropriate, but I'd have settled for any of her other ones. They all remind me of that night she played here." He glanced over in the direction of the area under the stairs where they had kissed.

"Who'd have guessed that the Big Bad was such a romantic?"

"Anybody that's ever _really_ known me, pet."

"There haven't been too many of those though, have there?"

"Dru, maybe Angelus, though it's not that I wanted him or Darla to see that side of me. Dawn, and maybe you, if you give it a while… possibly Joyce."

"Sp-… Will… There's something I have to tell you. I should have said it a long time ago… should have told you that day with Glory, on the stairs…

Will, I… I'm not _in_ love with you… but I _do_ love you." She watched him through her lashes, seeing his eyes well even brighter with unshed tears. Her hands moved from where they had rested on his shoulders to gently frame his face, her thumbs stroking the razor line of his cheekbones as she drew him in for a kiss. Spike's hands drifted down, cupping her rear and pulling her body tight against his so that she could feel the effect she had upon him.

She eased back an inch or two, returning her hands to his shoulders and spoke softly. "Hands back on waist until we're out of sight of teenage eyes… and Xander's. You probably just gave him a heart-attack."

Spike glanced over her shoulder at the Scoobies' table, before returning his hands to their earlier position. "Nah, we're safe. He's busy watchin' 'is missus like he should be. 'Bit's keepin' an eye on us though. You were right about that." 

"You know what that means, then. No hands or anything else anywhere that would make you want to hit Dawn's partner if she followed our example."

Spike snorted. "If you're goin' to use that as the standard then we shouldn't actually be touchin' at all, love, but point taken." He softened his voice before continuing.

"Your mates don't seem too distraught about us bein' together considerin' how worried you were about them finding out."

"Well, Tara already knew and Dawn figured it out from something I said when I was hallucinating. Willow worked out bits. Tara told her others and the pair of us talked about it tonight while we were getting ready. Anya isn't really in any position to comment. Neither's Xander but I'm surprised he hasn't made a bigger fuss…"

"Well, I think he might have made more of an impression if Anya hadn't tripped him up before, and speaking of Anya, you do realise she isn't wearing a pendant?"

"No, I hadn't. You mean she's still human?" Buffy asked.

"Don't know, but after what happened the last time I would have thought she would keep it pretty close. If she really did go back to it. I didn't want to ask in front of everybody. Specially not in the middle of all the wedding talk." 

"Mmm, and you didn't even bring up Xander running away once. Most restrained."

"Might've done, if Anya hadn't been sitting there, but that sort of thing would hurt her more than him. She's the one that got left. Besides, the two of you didn't come out to watch me and him fight… Not that it'll stop me if he starts something."

Buffy smiled at him. "Thank you, anyway." Her head dropped to rest on his shoulder, the silk of his violet-blue button-down shirt gently caressing her cheek.

"Pet?"

"Mmm?"

"Just exactly how long has the little blonde witch known about us?"

"Just before Katrina… I told her about the chip, and asked her to check out the resurrection spell. Then after, when she said there was nothing wrong. When she said there wasn't any excuse for what I did… in the alley… for what we did… everything… she thought I meant you hit me… then…"

"Oh hell, love, I'm sorry. I should never have said those things that I did. I was just angry that you seemed to be tryin' to shut me out. There's nothing wrong with you. You are, were and will always be perfect. But that means when Pixie caught us at your party…"

"She already knew… yeah." Buffy smiled.

"Bloody wench had me squirmin' all night, sayin' how cute Mr Oblivious was 'n' how I should put ice on it and stuff. Wicked bint. I'll have words with her later." Spike grinned and shook his head.

The song came to an end and after he let Buffy lead him back to their seat, Spike grabbed his coat and made the excuse of going outside for a cigarette. Really, he just wanted to wait until it was more comfortable to sit down. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have a no touching rule whenever 'Bit was about.

Xander watched Spike's retreating back until he was swallowed up by the crowd around the bar. "So since when does Evil Dead care about where he smokes?"

Suddenly he was assailed from all sides. Anya administered another quick kick to his shin which actually didn't hurt him at all thanks to the fact he had the orbs of Nezzla Kahn secreted about his person. All the other women chose to take simultaneous verbal exception.

"Grow up, Xander." Dawn's voice was filled with the scorn that only teenagers can manage.

"Xander…" Willow, Tara and Buffy infused his name with varying degrees of anger, disappointment and warning.

Buffy decided it was time she drew a line in the sand. Then it was up to Xander to decide where he stood, and even though this was a personal matter when she spoke her voice carried the authority of the slayer. She didn't raise her voice. Instead she exuded a quiet determination.

"Xander, it's time you got off Spike's case. He's been changing for a long time now. He's still a long way from perfect but he is a good man."

"He's not-." Xander tried to refute Buffy's claim, but was deterred by the glare Buffy sent his way.

"I hadn't finished. I would say that over the last year you've probably spent multiple hours in our presence having your say about Spike, so how about you just listen and keep your mouth shut for five or ten minutes while I have mine? 

Spike is a good man. He's prepared to get himself dusted for your sorry ass and he doesn't even like you, not that I blame him. Whenever he's around you seem to think it's okay to act like a jerk. 

How often does the guy have to prove himself before you show some simple common decency? Y'know maybe if you learned how to act like a mature reasonable human being instead of a spoilt little kid there might be reasons other than consideration for my feelings as to why he'd want to keep you around. You're always saying you need more male friends, well, newsflash, try being civil to the one other male that's around. 

Spike is not going to be going anywhere. I am not okay with the way you treat him. You may have a soul but that does not automatically make you superior. In fact, with the exception of Tara here, the most genuinely nice person I can think of is Clem. If Spike's come so far that he wants to be good even though he doesn't have the guilt about being bad that we would, I think that says more for him than having a soul would. Almost everything that he has done for the last year or more he has done because he loves me and Dawn. Well Xander, love conquers all.

He just had the chance to be Supervamp. He could have kept those ball thingies and he would be protected against the bulk of the injuries he picks up on patrol with me keeping this town safe for you and everyone else, day in day out, week in week out. Not just when there's an emergency or when it fits with his social calendar. Hey, keeping those balls might even be enough to make the difference between living and dying if he's attacked by a human, just being able to withstand someone's attacks without taking damage, but he gave them to you. 

He gave them to you because after the other night he includes Anya as one of the people who are his to protect, and Anya loves you, so you score because he doesn't want to see her suffer if you get hurt. And the fact that anyone can see that unless something happens to change things, you two are going to end up beating the crap out of each other hasn't escaped him. Nor has the fact that you can, on occasion, be a bitter, twisted, little… git, who'll more likely than not use them to hurt him even more than you already could. And still he puts his feelings for Anya first, because he still doesn't realise the man he's become. 

He still thinks of himself as one of the damned and worth less than any of the rest of us because of it. But I'm telling you now that you had better take a good look in the mirror and sort out whatever issues you have about vampires or about me with vampires. As your ex once told me "spank your inner moppet"; embrace the pain, do whatever you have to do to get over it. Just do it soon because if you try anything to split us up, or harm him, or even just harass him, I am not going to just let you get away with it like I let you get away with your part in the Acathla incident."

Seeing blank looks on the faces of the others, Buffy turned to Willow before she continued. 

"Oh, right, I forgot Xander and me are the only ones who know what I mean by his part in the Acathla incident. 

Yeah, Will, you know you asked Xander to tell me to try to stall the ritual until you could restore Angel's soul? Well it turns out that, translated into Xander-speak, it came out as "Willow said to give him hell" or something like that."

Willow's jaw dropped and she stared at her lifelong friend, her face filled with shock and disappointment. 

Buffy continued on. "Angel spent half a millennium being tortured in hell because Xander decided your wishes, Jenny Calendar's and mine were less important than his perverted satisfaction."

The slayer returned her attention to Xander. "You gambled with my life and the fate of the entire world. I was forced to send the man I loved to hell seconds after he regained his soul.

Yeah, I know you thought that had escaped everyone's attention, Xander, but it hadn't. By the time I worked out what had happened there was so much water under the bridge. It took so much effort to get back to where we were after the time I spent in LA recovering from what you forced me to do and I didn't want to disillusion Will, so I left it. You got off free with that till now.

Just like you got away with summoning that demon for his little song and dance routine. He would have incinerated me if Spike hadn't stopped it. He did make several people burn alive while we spent days researching something you already knew all about. You didn't even own up to summoning him when the life-size puppet said that was why they'd taken Dawn. …Right up to the point where Giles worked out it had to be one of us, you thought if you just kept quiet you wouldn't have to accept any responsibility, even if that meant he took Dawn or me. People almost certainly died because you chose to pretend ignorance and it doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest. You haven't shown the least hint of remorse. It's like, oh- they died, but I didn't know that would happen so it's not my fault.

Spike? He blames himself for me dying and for every bad thing that's happened to me since. When I've been a total bitch, he blames himself because if he hadn't let me die I'd not have changed. He took a knife through the gut and a fall off a hundred-foot tower that broke half the bones in his body and still he tortures himself every night with things he could have done differently to protect Dawn and me on that tower. 

If you didn't know one was a soulless vampire and one human which one would you say was evil from the descriptions, Xander?"

Xander, fidgeted and avoided Buffy's gaze, as most of the others at the table looked on stunned.

"He deserves some respect for the things he's done and for how he's changed. For too long I let you poison my mind rather than trust my own instincts, or Dawn's. I screwed up this thing between us first time round because I let you make me feel ashamed of someone I should have been proud of. He's the one who's been there to support me whenever I've needed it this past year. He's the only one who's made it his business to notice when I need help without me asking. Don't force me to choose between you. And don't you dare let me hear you call him Evil anything ever again."

Buffy finally seemed to have reached the conclusion of her speech. She waited to see if Xander had any response to make, but whilst he was still contemplating the carpeting someone else decided to act.

Dawn moved to stand beside her sister. "What she said, except for the bits about going out with him. Spike's been one of the good guys for a while now. Last summer no one had a problem with him. As soon as Buffy came back you and Giles both start treating him like shit again. Buffy doesn't need you or want you to protect her. Especially when your version of being protective is just plain being a jerk." The younger Summers expressed her support. Both girls stood arms crossed in front of them, legs slightly apart most of their weight on their right leg and their left foot held heel down as if about to start tapping it in irritation. They made a formidable sight. 

"Until you opened your big mouth, it seemed to me like Buffy was having a good time tonight and she hasn't had too many of those in the last year. If you were really her friend maybe you would have taken the time to notice that and possibly even put two and two together as to why.

Right. I'm done. Are you done, Buffy?"

"I'm good."

"Wanna dance with your little sister?"

"Sure."

Anya looked over at her husband who now looked thoroughly miserable and sighed. "Didn't I tell you if you pushed it, then it would be the relationship between you and Buffy that would suffer."

Shortly after, Spike dropped off another round of drinks at the table before heading onto the dance-floor to look for his women. He found them talking rather than dancing behind a staircase on the far side of the club. He came up behind Dawn putting his arms loosely around her waist and standing on tip-toe to kiss the top of her head before resting his chin on her shoulder to get a proper look at her sister and gauge how her confrontation had affected her.

"Are you two okay?" He pulled a travel pack of tissues from his coat pocket and passed it across to Buffy, who had been dabbing at her slightly pink eyes with her fingertips. 

It was Dawn who answered rather than Buffy. "She kinda had a row with Xander."

"I know, pet, I heard some of it. I was on the way back to the table when I noticed. I figured it would only make things worse if I turned up in the middle of it. Thought Harris would take it worse if he thought I was standing gloating, so I made a detour to the bar, but I could still hear… and thank you, both of you, for the nice things you said about me." He reached across to Buffy gently using a knuckle under her chin to raise her head until she was looking at him. "It means a lot to me that you would do that."

"I'm kinda not sure that I should have," sniffled Buffy. "At least I think I overreacted a bit. I meant what I said but the middle of a group night out for Xander's wedding probably wasn't the best time or place. I feel like I should apologise… but I meant it all. And now I've spoiled the night for everybody."

"Pet, I couldn't get you people to stop talking to each other when I was trying to. If I've done it when I'm not trying I'll be bloody well cheesed off. Now dry your eyes, love. Say a big thank you to whoever invented waterproof mascara and both of you come dance for a bit before we all go face the music. If things are too bad when we go back to the table we can bugger off home or go find a table somewhere else. It's all up to you."

Spike took the so far unused pack of tissues from the slayer and pulled one out. He dabbed gently below her eyes until he was satisfied. "You ready to come dance, pet?" he whispered next to her ear before brushing his lips across her cheek.

She smiled weakly over at him. "That's all we ever do, isn't it?"

"That it is, love. That it is."

Spike took her hand and followed Dawn onto the dance-floor.

****

The end.

Okay, that's the end of the road for SWBD, but not for this little AU. I've got a lot more written but it's still in the process of getting thrown back and forth between me and the wonderful people who've agreed to beta for me, that's MadRog and t_geyer. Without them I would just have ~250 pages of stuff sitting gathering dust. We may end up with a sequel, or plural sequels or a sequel with some companion pieces. I'm not quite sure how it's all going to work out yet.

For those of you who were wondering about the promised NC-17 bits, they're written and waiting (of course if you're reading on ff.net you won't be able to get them), but they're going to be in the sequel as opposed to the epilogue. If you would like to be notified when the next part of the story is coming out and where to find it then get in touch with your e-mail address either via the review function or e-mail direct at Sandy.Osborne@blueyonder.co.uk 


End file.
